A GARDENING GENTLEMAN’S THOUGHTS ON THE CICADA…

A GARDENING GENTLEMAN’S THOUGHTS ON THE CICADA…

The upcoming mania about the awakening of the “Cicadoidea”, (or Cicada in the vulgar tongue), is a worthy concern for our gardening gentlemen.  To cut to the chase, Cicada’s feed on the sap of deciduous trees including their trunks, branches and roots but are altogether uninterested in coniferous plants.  Unlike other pests they are not focused on foliage, rather they suck xylem or sap from such trees as oak cypress, willow ash and maple, typically causing no harm whatsoever.  However, if you are cultivating young saplings and want to forego the whole /cicada initiation you might consider placing a light wire mesh frame over the saplings encompassing them from their crown to the ground and then sheathing it with a thin transparent mesh to allow for photosynthesis.  But know that eventually, as the tree matures, it will become defenseless against these insects as you will not be able to sheath a fully mature tree.  Cicadas visit us every 13 to 17 years depending upon the species,  so yours will be a long if not punctuated relationship with this most curious of organisms.  By the time the sapling has reached full maturity these Cicadas will be of no harm.  In the wild every deciduous organism would be compelled to undergo this crucible as one of nature’s fateful tests but in our gardens we have the ability to cheat nature in effect to maintain the artificial order of our beautiful domestic parterres.

Abandoned Exoskeleton Husks left by Cicada Newborn Nymphs before they burrow deep for the next 17 years

Over the next few months the presence of our returned visitors, the Cicadas, might attract predating insects and animals.  Many scientists believe that the strange 17 year cycle of these insects is largely designed to manage predation by other organisms, if so it is a truly ancient artifice.  Female Cicada’s will lay their eggs deep in the branches of deciduous trees using their proboscis, the same long, tube-like appendage used to draw sap.  When the eggs hatch the newly minted nymphs will fall to the ground where they must quickly burrow deep for the next 17 years.  It is at this time they are most vulnerable and most likely to become a meal.

Newborn Cicada Nymph escaping his exoskeleton

Other than superficial protection for young saplings there is really no other concern that a gentleman gardener should have with the Cicada.  There are many sustainable ways he might utilise them to his advantage such as composting the dry but protein rich husks left by these morphing organisms.  After the first weeks of the Cicada invasion these husks will be left lying around everywhere like dead automobiles in a junk yard.  An enterprising gentleman might spend a few hours’ online collecting recipes and attempt adding roasted, fried, grilled, or casseroled Cicada to his repertoire of cuisines.  But for my part, I have determined to catch all the Cicada I can so that I can feed them to my six, ever-hungry turtles aptly named; Rampage, Muse, Dingo, Rumble, Base and Carto…  respectively…

Holes left by burrowing Cicada Nymphs

Written by David Vollin

DOES ETIQUETTE HAVE A PRACTICAL PURPOSE?

Whenever someone mentions etiquette I get the image of a long opulently appointed banquet table where gentle folk are deliciously seated equally elegant in both appearance and demeanor enjoying the wittiest conversation.  But there is much more to this fairy tale than mere elegance and eloquence; there is a wonderfully practical side to all this “ haute reverie”; people of diverse backgrounds, using the dining table as a political folly, are coming together in order to execute one of the most important features of human civilisation… “Communication”!

The true purpose of etiquette is to facilitate interpersonal relations.  Every echelon of culture has some form of etiquette from the roughest ghetto to the most affluent communities including specific types of institutional communities such as religions, professions and social organizations.  The most practical purpose of etiquette is aimed at getting everyone on the same page so that the simplest of rituals such as entering and exiting a room, or greeting and receiving familiar and unfamiliar guests, clients etc., does not become burdensome.  One must admit that some of the strange customs that have become adopted as standards of etiquette were doubtless invented by the idle rich who had no other thing to do but squander time.  It is my sincere opinion that these practices will not endure the test of time but that the most basic and essential rules of etiquette designed around facilitating a seamless flow of human interaction will ultimately be the ones that survive. 

Finally etiquette serves the purpose of crystallizing social standards which have evolved over millennia of human evolution such as the rituals of respect youths show to their elders; as such etiquette is a codex of human social superlatives.  During the twentieth century, with the advent of the Sexual and Cultural revolutions established traditions such as etiquette were rightfully challenged.  Etiquette was wrongfully passed off as obsolete but as the tide of anarchy begins to sweep the globe we now begin to recognize that some of its most basic tenets must be preserved if humans are to survive as a species.  For those who have grandiose ideas of reverting to a socioeconomic world that no longer exists etiquette is a bad elitist tool meant to divide rather than unify but for those who understand the necessity for humans to develop universal norms for proper social interaction with no racial, sexual or ethnic, economic or other barriers, etiquette is a useful tool with a practical purpose.

Written by David Vollin

Administrator: FOR THE BROTHAS CULTURAL, INTELLECTUAL SALON

And visit: The Ebony Room: A Gentleman’s Lounge at:  www.ebonyroomgentlemansclub.blogspot.com  

GETTING OUR INTELLIGENCE BACK: A Candid Look At The Role Evolution Could Play In Human Memory Capacity And Intelligence

EXPLORE THIS REVOLUTIONARY THEORY ON THE HISTORY OF HUMAN INTELLIGENCE COINED BY MR. DAVID VOLLIN...

Follow This Link:  http://ebonyroomgentlemansclub.blogspot.com/2013/04/getting-our-intelligence-back-candid.html   

ON MANAGING THREATS TO OUR BELOVED COUNTRY…

ON MANAGING THREATS TO OUR BELOVED COUNTRY…

Every time there is a treat to our beloved United States of America it serves to engender a greater sense it solidarity within its diverse peoples who love and cherish this land.  Not that we do not  cherish these great United States of America already, it is just that we are so seldom challenged to evaluate how truly blessed we are as a country that sordid and cowardly acts like the recent Boston Bombing literally force us to come face to face with what we stand to lose if we allow ourselves to become degraded to the type of government, (or lack thereof), that those who hate our beloved America would ultimately reduce us to, should they ever rise to power; we would live in a state of perpetual fear!

I was sitting at home relaxed, sitting back with a cigar and  cognac when I wondered, what can the average American do to prevent such random violence?  Almost as soon as the question entered my mind so did its answer, “Virtually Nothing”.  A determined sociopath hell bent on injuring dozens, hundreds or even thousands of innocent people is more than likely way off the average person’s radar if only because while these crazed criminals  are dreaming of unbridled chaos we and those like us are striving to make a better world for ourselves and others.  It’s just the twisted way of the world these days it seems.  

Americans have to come down from their ivory towers, their manicured lawns, gated communities and ghetto fabulous realities so they can begin to see with the eyes that were given them.  Yes America has played a role in some unsettling and even unfair global events in its otherwise glorious past but that does not mean that we are now going to just lay down and allow any garden variety dissident to blow our lives to bits.  Nor does it mean we are going to organize our own anti-terrorist militia aimed at every man woman and child that our vivid imagination conceives to be plotting against our beloved country.  We are bigger than that, we are bigger than the angry coward who loses hope on humanity and chooses to punish it rather than to help it grow...

It simply means that we are going to take greater care to ensure that America adopts responsible and humane foreign policies in the future; we cannot undo what has already been done!  The tangible aspect of this recent bombing is that it could have easily affected each and every one of us personally; our mother, father, sister, brother, colleague, best friend could have been injured or killed on that day.  So in order to prevent this from happening we have to soul search to discover what acceptable role we can play in preventing bombings like this from ever getting off the ground in the future. 

Of course this is some pretty bold and adventurous language coming from a comfortable man sipping cognac and smoking a cigar on his balcony in  the heart of Washington, D.C.  Behind the scenes our armed forces, secret service and hosts of other unnamed U.S. Government Agencies are doing the tough, dangerous work of really preventing and managing terrorist threats.  One night whilst biking on the U.S. Mall in my backyard I happened upon the WWII Memorial just after it had been consecrated and read one of the most powerful things I have read in quite some time, the inscription above a fountain emblazoned with stars representing all of the men who had died in WWII  said simply, “FREEDOM IS NOT FREE”!

Written by David Vollin

PATENT PENDING...

Mark Dean Invented the 1 Gigahertz Chip patented for IBM

America’s ability to ride the economic tides of the twenty-first century are largely dependent on our ability to create new products that generate an international demand.  By products I do not just mean record sales or the next great American novel, I mean new technology!  Right now there are several wide open markets just waiting for new innovative products to be designed, patented, marketed and distributed across the globe, one of them is the new realm of green products another is innovative means of generating energy. 

George Crum Invented the Potato Chip in 1853

But in order for someone to be able to brainstorm and market a new technology they would have to have several skill sets under their belt and a large amount of capital as well as lots of free time to research, experiment and refine their concept design.  Another unavoidable dynamic of this scenario is that they will have to team up with other people with specialized technical expertise in order to pull the dream off.  Pulling together a unified team is one thing but maintaining quality control and focus is another, nevertheless these are challenges that other inventors have successfully overcome for many thousands of years of human history.  Pulling it off is not only highly, “Doable” but it is also highly desirable in order to gain some measure of economic and occupational freedom in a world that is still largely driven by megabusinesses.

Jan Ernst Maltzaliger Invented the Shoe Lasting Machine in  1882

The best teams might be formed by persons who are already working full time jobs but are able to devote a certain predetermined hours of work daily as part of a working product development plan.  Breaking these tasks up into smaller teams of two or more would even ensure a greater level of productivity.  I envisage these design teams as “Think Tanks” initially organised to develop research teams which focus on diverse and perhaps unrelated areas identified as potentially untapped or substantially open markets for innovation.  Eventually the teams would either produce substantive data leading to the exploration of a product design or digress to other areas driven by their research.  All information would be valuable and perhaps might end up leading to some unforeseen breakthrough further down the line.  The purpose of the teams is to prove that two, three, four or more heads are always better than one. 

In 1912 Garrett Morgan Invented and patented a  Gas Mask

Technology is what ultimately drives civilisation, it creates culture and the lack of technological advances stagnates and eventually kills human civilisation. 

Garrett Morgan

Creating new and innovative technologies should be on the front burner of all American businesses.  Due to the evolution of American culture one individual may no longer have sufficient time, money and resources to conceptualize, research, experiment, develop and market a new product alone so a team of like-minded persons working as a think tank is the next best alternative.

Elijiah McCoy

 Those who make the quantum leap to experiment with this method of product development might find themselves on the cusp of one of the greatest innovations of the twenty-first century, they might though hard work and cooperation find one day that something they imagined has come to fruition and has a new patent pending.

In 1872 Elijiah McCoy invented the Self-Dripping  Oil Cup for  Trains,  hence the origin
of the saying "The Real McCoy".

Written by David Vollin

LEARNING TO LET GO

A man shared his life-changing experience with me and while I have heard many such stories in my short existence upon this beautiful earth his was no less moving as if it were the first time anything had touched my heart. While his discovery represented an evolutionary hurtle I had conquered many years before it served as a refresher course on why I even bothered to wake up every morning. It reminded me of my daily goal to attempt a transformation of gobbledygook and utter chaos into something meaningful, structured and beautiful.

In retrospect it wasn’t so much what happened to him, the raw, undressed details that captured my attention and consequently my soul but rather the creative path he took to avert disaster and transform it into a quantifiable measure triumph!  What is more, the skills he used are the same ones we call upon daily performing the simplest deductive reasoning.  The point of disconnect for many men is acting decisively on what they already know.  What makes what he did different from many people is that he followed through solving the problem and successfully implemented its solution. 

Now I hear people complain all day long about “This and that!” and “That and this!” so I always say to them, “Wonderful!  You have identified the problem now don’t stop there, come up with a solution and then carry it out!”  It is my design to reach out to others, to push them and to introduce them to a more solutions-based outlook and strategy for handling life’s many problems.  To that end, my success is only as good as their desire to embrace openness. I learned many years ago that a person’s window must be first be open to positive change in order for them to catch its sweet breeze literally floating away from adversity. 

Well, after what I must assume had been many years of utopic but blindfolded bliss the gentleman realized everyone did not have his best interest at heart; a tough lesson for him at his age.  He learned that some people were willing to manipulate their association with him, pretending to be his ally, friend, lover and or confidant in order to carry out some craftily hidden agenda that would ultimately betray him.  Such people are willing to feign affection, hiding behind their wants and needs, rationalizing them to avoid a confrontation with the graveness of their deception.  A hunter can get closer to his prey by pretending at friendship, it psyches out his prey while he quietly executes the real purpose of the charade waiting to strike the fatal blow.  I will not say that my friend was gullible because he was not! However, it was my impression that he was certainly blinded by any of a number of variables ranging from amazing sex to the promise of amazing sex, romance, and the chic novelty of it all. Now, that is as far as any gentleman will go in the way of disclosing details that are more prudently left private.  In the final hour my gentleman friend was the hapless victim of betrayal, deceit, slander and a raging bonfire of vanities!  Having been there I applaud him for having the tenacity to rise from the ashes with both his dignity and manners intact!

How he managed his plight was most effective.  First he severed association with everyone who had been even remotely guilty of an indiscretion against him.  Secondly he re-established himself amongst those who had been steadfast friends and associates reaffirming their established bond.  Thirdly he retreated from the entire public reconstruction in order to reaffirm his relationship with himself in private.  He then gradually came out of sequester refreshed, and refocused.  He had analyzed and let go of the past, moved forward with a new plan of action and embraced the spirit of positive change; he was a new man!

Many of us go through similar exercises in which we must shed some of what we have come to associate as our “Selves” and then regroup to redefine self.  In many instances it is any man’s guess as to how long this “New Man” will last before it gradually degrades back to its former self?  But we must not preconceive fate!  The important lesson to be got from this example is the process. It could be argued that maintenance is also an integral element of process and I would be well inclined to agree because the simple process of learning through failure is one of the mightiest methods of human understanding.  What I took from this was an understanding of the concept, “terminus” or “terminal”!  A terminus or terminal is a place of finality the completion of a journey whether physical or aesthetic.  When traveling it is the point at which the vehicle comes to a final stop having arrived at its destination.  At this point the traveler must get out of the vehicle take whatever owns and earns he desires to preserve in order to begin a new phase of his journey, a new arrival.  At this point he can still leave anything, anything behind him, he can be free of the burdens of the past at least conceptually.  Whether he likes it or not the journey lay behind him at the terminus, it cannot be re-trod, it is final, before him lay a new journey and that is where his mind is bent, forward not backward.  No matter what he does he can only move forward from this point on as surely he could only ever have done; it is the way time works.  My hat goes off to this gentleman because he revived an old lesson in my mind, a rite of passage, an art appreciated by those who have truly lived and understood the meaning of what they have done, he had finally learned to let go.  My gentleman friend realized that the way men become better men is by gracefully learning to let go….

Written by D. Vollin 

MEN’S ETIQUETTE, A RESTAURANT WITH NO HAT CHECK OR COATROOM…

MEN’S ETIQUETTE, A RESTAURANT WITH NO HAT CHECK OR COATROOM…

The first time I ever seriously contemplated the subject of a timely revision to the matter of men’s etiquette was when I was entreated to remove an exceptionally esteemed fedora in a somewhat less than mediocre eating establishment.  The question was not necessarily if I would have removed it in homage to the ritual convention that gentleman must always remove their chapeau when entering into a restaurant as I here quote Emily Post advising men that, “In a fashionable restaurant a man leaves his hat and coat in the coat room or checks them at the entrance of the restaurant.” Rather, the question was where would I place my then-favorite chapeau as there was neither a coat room or hat check.  I was therefore challenged to discover a nearby location where my chapeau would neither be ruined by the tiniest morsel of food or grease nor be stolen whilst I dined.  So grave had my choices become that I chose not to dine there at all but the dilemma remained.

Now when I refer to a gentleman’s hat I mean a fine fedora, Kufe, Kaftan, homburg, boater, derby, homburg, fez, krakul, ascot or other type of more formal dress hat certainly not any of the more informal varieties such as a baseball cap, a skull cap or stocking hat.  Hats that are of a formal religious nature are exempt from the secular rules of etiquette as they are governed by more restrictive standards such as a turban a zucchetto, a toquem, fez or biretta.

I had never got so political, not about a mere question of etiquette as I have now become, but let me organise my argument in a comparison contrast so that you gentlemen can see the true nature of my thoughts.  First allow me to define the term, “Restaurant”.  Without delving overlong into the history of the use of the terminology it appears that the term restaurant widely refers to an eating establishment primarily devoted to the preparation of food including the serving of beverages with the key distinction being that customers are primarily intended to dine on the premises with the smaller portion of customers dining off premises in what is commonly referred to as a, “carryout” feature.  I feel that it is largely the dynamic of dining on premises which drives the necessity for a gentleman to remove his hat.  The restaurateur is charged with the responsibility of preparing a compelling dining experience for his gentle patrons including safe and clean accommodations for a gentleman’s chapeau.  A restaurateur who has not provided these amenities and who has not even made the crudest of hat hooks available on the wall nearest the seating or on the benches where gentleman might sit should therefore not expect a gentleman to place his fine hat upon the same table at which he intends to dine. 

Unfortunately, the new generation of restaurants do not understand the fine intent of etiquette with respect to a gentleman’s chapeau and yet in their pretension suffer their patrons to remove their hats upon demand.  A restaurateur who is truly refined should never insult a patron by demanding or even suggesting the removal of his hat.  A maître d’ might politely offer to take a gentleman’s hat to hat and coat check at the door but he must never insist, mention it a second time nor make it appear in any way that the gentleman was being discourteous or was ignorant of the proper gentlemanly manner.   A truly fine restaurant will accommodate its patrons, not scold or oppress them since it is not their business to teach proper etiquette but rather to dispense fine food and customer service!

One of the dynamics of the late twentieth century has been the utilization of hats as a symbolic gesture by urban gangs.  Business establishments that are forced to respond to these clear and serious threats have implemented no hat policies that have caught on in places where this threat is nonexistent without the practise ever being reconsidered.  So welcome to the twenty-first century; a paranoid, litigious and generally discourteous landscape where gentlemanly values are not understood or revered!  Today’s gentleman is virtually alone, and his civilized sense of courtesy will be looked upon by many as antiquated, irrelevant and offensive.  Under these circumstances it is easy to understand why many men no longer have a desire to be true gentlemen.  So as gentlemen, we represent all that stands between chaos and barbarism!  But a gentleman does not ever want to become overzealous about his convictions at least not to the point that he becomes rude, or might insult those who are truly ignorant of the fact they are ignorant.

This, of course leaves a true gentleman with but one option, when he is wearing a fine chapeau and intends to dine out then he must immediately inquire at the door, and if there is a maître d’ direct this question toward him, tactfully so as not to make a great fuss of it.  It is also very important that a gentleman not insult the restaurant or eating establishment because it has no accommodations for hi8s hat.  He should not be so selfish as  to imagine that any business, would suddenly create a hat check for him and he should never impose upon the restaurateur or manager to make special accommodations for him to place his hat in some secure place perhaps the office or elsewhere.  A gentleman must respect the nature of the business that confronts him; it literally is what it is!  Furthermore, if the gentleman is dining with one or more persons he should have inquired beforehand.  It is impolite to invite dinner guests to a restaurant without having first verified its virtues.  A gentleman will have not gone merely on word of mouth but would have checked the menu and price beforehand a task made all he simpler with the internet.  A loophole to this dilemma when a gentleman is unsure of the restaurants hat policy is for the him to tell his guests he is checking availability for a table and whilst he checks if he discovers there are no accommodations he returns to them informing them that the restaurant is booked with appointments.  But this manner of hunting should not go on to the utter frustration of all parties involved.  A gentleman cannot repeat this mistake, he must  forgo his need to protect his chapeau so as not to hold his hungry guests hostage so the gentleman must decide to either remove his hat place it in the car, if that option exists or employ any number of cyber tools to locate a gentle restaurant that will have the proper accommodations.

Many restaurants want to create the image of luxury and sophistication by asking male patrons to remove their hats but a fine restaurant will have a coat and hat check specifically for this purpose leaving it up to the patron to either remove or wear his hat as he so pleases.  A gentleman must always remember to tip the clerk at the hat check directly and separately from the waiter.   A gentleman will never make a fuss concerning whether a restaurant can accommodate his hat check, likewise if a gentleman finds that he has entered an establishment that is aggressive about the removal of his fine dress-hat he should simply pay his tab and leave.  There may be arguments for when a gentleman can wear his hat in a restaurant or if he can wear it when he is at the bar only or if he is in an informal eating establishment such as a diner, café or fast food establishment but these will be subjects of another time…

Written by David Vollin