ESTABLISHING NEW MEMORIALS AND HOLIDAYS FOR BLACK AMERICAN HEROES

The Immense success of the Martin Luther King holiday and memorial on The National Mall in Washington, D.C. gives rise to the question...."What Other Black American Icons and achievements Deserve to Be Memorialized on a National Scale and Honored with Their Own memorial and/or Holiday"? Conservatively speaking, A National Holiday should be reserved for only the most extraordinary individuals whose life accomplishments have greatly distinguished them among other Americans and have had far reaching effects touching all races, sexes and groups of people.  This group of American Icons would include writers, poets, scientists, athletes, artists, inventors, statesmen, and other luminaries that captured the spirit of their day as beacons of human accomplishment.

I lay in bed contemplating what the criterion might actually be to justify and establish such a memorial and holiday.  In reality, the number of nationally recognized holidays celebrating the accomplishments of a single individual is relatively rare.  Religious holidays honoring Saints and Martyrs are more frequent but are rarely sanctioned by government because of the separation of church and state with the exception of Christmas and Easter.  Even the American Presidents, some of whom originally enjoyed their own holiday are now equally celebrated on President's Day.  The National trend appears to be moving away from the celebration of one man’s legacy to more general subjects as the WWII memorial constructed recently on the mall.  There are countless contributions of Black Americans that can be memorialized In Washington, D.C. doucumenting the the shared legacy of invention and purpose.

After construction of the Lincoln, and Jefferson Memorials the number of magnanimous edifices has slowed to a mere trickle indicating that America is producing less glorious citizens or that Americans are losing their reverence for Americana. 

Following the grand Beaux Arts monuments cradled in the mall devoted to Lincoln and Jefferson there trickled in the Taft memorial, the Lady Bird Johnson memorial, The Theodore Roosevelt memorial, The Nannie Helen Burroughs memorial, The Einstein memorial, the F.D.R. Memorial and last... the M.L.K. memorial to name only a few...  The many  Public and Private buildings, gardens and piazzas of Washington, D.C. contain an amazingly vast number of monuments a list for which I am sure has never been composed.  




Given the history of race in American politics it is unfair to criticize the ratio of monuments honoring Black Americans compared to White Americans at least until the late 1960's.  But if there were ever a need to catch up to the number of Black Americans memorialized in stone, Bronze or fountain... that time would be now. 

The Opening of the new memorial for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. created a new dynamic on the nation’s mall.  I live just a few blocks from the national mall and it is one of my favorite haunts during the long sunny summer evenings is biking or skateboarding along its expansive park photographing architectural and landscape features.  The King memorial is also designed to be enjoyed at night unlike most monuments that were intended for daytime visitation.   At night the King memorial takes on a whole new persona with its clever lighting and situation right on the shore of the tidal basin. 

One of the things I have noted, having frequented the monumental core since I was a kid, is that there was never a significant Black presence among the tourists.  The King memorial put the mall on the map for Black Americans and opened up a new population to the historic mall.  From a marketing perspective this was a savvy move and planning future memorials to Black heroes would only increase tourism and patronage. 

National memorials are often the result of decades of planning, fundraising and political posturing.  One of the reasons why there are not more such monuments may be owed in part to the waning purview of some outdated  institutions such as The National Urban League, The NAACP, and others who rose to the occasion during the 20^th century but have failed to fully understand the mission of Post-Civil Rights Era America in the 21^st century.  These think-tanks should fully understand the power of image to empower and inform and they should have established initiatives to brainstorm and implement new public monuments dedicated to Black American persons of note to fully and accurately communicate their accomplishments in the American story alongside other people of note.

So what are the unique factors that might be used to identify persons whose accomplishments deserve national recognition to be preserved and celebrated for future generations?  In my opinion, there are three basic categories that seem to cover the entire spectrum of criterion for the establishment of a national monument or memorial:

1.     Persons whose achievements have significantly advanced the course of American history.

2.     Persons whose unique achievements and/or talents have distinguished them on a National and Global level within their field of interest advancing the global course of human history.

3.     Events, Socio-Political movements rooted in the ivil Rights struggle and the larger struggle of Black Americans  that have changed the course of American History and have had National and/or Global significance.

For instance there are some memorials that have yet to be built which are needed additions to the national mall in order to document the presence of Black Americans and our contributions to the evolution of this countries ever changing history.  Here are some suggestions:

1.       A Memorial or museum dedicated to The Enslavement of Black Americans.

2.       A Memorial or museum dedicated to The History of Civil Rights.

3.       A Memorial or museum dedicated to The Great Migration.

4.       A Memorial or museum dedicated to American Blues and Jazz.

5.       A Memorial for Frederick Douglass.

6.       A Memorial to Abolition and Women’s Suffrage.

7.       A Memorial for Thurgood Marshall.

8.       A Memorial for W.E.B. Dubois.

9.       A Memorial for Booker T. Washington.

10.   A Memorial for Louis Armstrong.

11.   A Memorial for Duke Ellington.

Of course there are countless Black Americans, men and women and related movements that could be offered up as themes to be memorialized… some of these can be tied together in a single memorial but all of them deserve the level of national recognition that other Americans and their ideals have been given.  It is the mission of every Black American to rally together to bring these causes to light and to initiate the process by which funding can be raised as well as support in congress for these much needed memorials.

 

The 1600’s through the 1700’s were our period of early enslavement.  The 1800’s through 1900’s were our period of civil disobedience and freedom.  In the 21^st century Black Americans can look back upon a vast history of struggle and accomplishment and should be going about the intensive and impassioned task of preserving monumentalizing our legacy for future generations.  it is this critical link with our past that  will inform and empower future generations.  In many ways the lack of historical consciousness and connectedness within the Black community has allowed it to critically backslide over the past 30 to 40 years losing much of the greatness that had come to distinguish it. 

In full, Black Americans have been incredibly vigilant, they have established hundreds of monuments, museums and preserved historic sites all across America to preserve the legacy of Black Americans and their contribution to the American story.  The next step is to bring them to the national mall in Washington, D.C. alongside the other monuments of American greats...

Written by D. Vollin


FIN

HOW TO END A RELATIOSHIP: An Opening Towards Bringing Closure...

The reason why there are no golden rules gleaming out at us from The Book of Love, in a subsection of the magical, timeless chapter of "Relationships" is because love is never supposed to end! The traditions of our culture support the concept of an eternal partnership, equipped with a divine and perpetual covenant, a government-issued decree but with no operations manual or comprehensive exit plan tucked away in the packaged sale of goods. No small wonder that in the 21at century buyers are wary of making this purchase... The ultimate commitment for love is no longer supported by the underlying structure of American culture in practise. Today, love is very much like a web page without a server. Although divorce has become an accepted solution for dysfunctional relationships it is still frowned upon as an unfortunate rather than refreshing exit strategy. When we encounter problems online we hit the refresh button and the web page redivivates itself instantly... not so with love and relationships I am afraid.

For those without a marriage or other legal bond to their relationship the dynamics of separation are far less tedious from a legal perspective. I have heard many people that are married say that they view informal relationships not bound by legal or marriage vows as spurious. How could we who have nothing on paper compare our relationship with a bonafide marriage? Those of us who have been in very intimate and fulfilling relationships, (but not married), have the privilege of objectively assessing both sides of the broom we see legal marriage for what it often is... nothing more than a paper-marriage.



And that is all that a marriage really is until it has had a chance to survive the tests of time... a license to a dream on paper. It is not my intent to "qualify" this relationship or that covenant... though, I want to take it to the head in "bar-speak" and talk about the other side of the wisteria and lily garlanded, silver belled, white lace embroidered, multi-tiered pastried adventure that we experience on our way out of love... "How To End A Relationship"! Now that is information worth putting into a manual, one preferably that comes in a handy pocket-sized version with a heavy-duty binding. It is information that can be easily uploaded to an MP-3, cellular phone or electronic information device.



Marriage, Partnership, Relationship, Affair, Fling, Escapade, Rendezvous, whatever the case may be they all seem to come crashing to a catastrophic end all too soon... and when they do what we need most in our arsenal of solutions for moving ahead is a good plan of action.

The untimely demise of a loving relationship, (untimely may be or may not be an appropriate term depending on which disgruntled partner you ask), must take into account these important things:

1.       Is it practical or mandatory to at least maintain a working transitional friendship?

2.       Will you and your new ex be sharing the same premises and perhaps bed?

3.        Are there children involved?

4.       Have arrangements been made to manage mutual bills, material possessions and other personal financial commitments?

5.       Have you and your partner sufficiently discussed mutual concerns regarding factors that may have precipitated the break-up?

6.       Have you thoroughly assessed your personal needs and concerns?  Have you written them down and brainstormed positive/realistic outcomes and solutions that put you in control with a strategy for re-establishing yourself?

7.       Have you and your partner developed a uniform strategy to deal with social demands and stress generated by mutual friends and colleagues?

8.       Having taken all of the prior steps, (1-7), into account, have you and your partner taken time to step back, think, and re-visit these issues at least once in a follow-up meeting?

9.       Do you honestly know what your next move will be in this process? Are you prepared emotionally, physically and financially to manage the dynamics of the breakup?

10.   Never allow a break-up to cause you to lose your job, the one resource you will need during a time of crisis.

When a relationship is in its declining stages It may be difficult if not altogether impossible to maintain a working friendship, a place of neutrality to create a conceptual workshop to sort-through the difficult task of breaking up together.  I have found that working out the details of ending a relationship forces both ex-partners to bond in a way that bridges the gap between lovers and ex-lovers.  Helping one another pack and even move into their new spaces is a healthy task that can bring an amazing sense of closure and mutual respect at the end of a difficult phase in your life.

If you live with your partner and find that it you cannot maintain a healthy friendship while bringing closure then you should consider moving out if you are able to manage it.  If both parties agree to coexist without any form of communication and it works… then you have at least created a temporarily stable household that will afford you time to figure out your next move but remember that such precarious relationships are highly unstable and do not last for long as pent-up frustrations continue to build-up unresolved.

If both parties are faced with the management of children, know that they will be directly affected by the separation of their family; the parents must resolve their anger with one another and find a mature compassionate  way to help the children navigate through the breakup process.  Unless the children are infants, too young to understand what is going on they will be keenly keyed in to the breakup anyway.    Responsibility to manage the stress of these circumstances falls directly upon the heads of both parents who must now handle stress on two fronts.  The bottom-line is that children did not choose to be children… this choice was made by the two adults to whom they look up to and call parents.  All of the weight and responsibility will fall on the parents’ heads.  Parents… if you cannot handle it maybe you need to strongly re-consider breaking up and fix your relationship!

Breaking up is a highly emotional process but once you have fully committed to this path of action you will be faced with some very serious decisions about how to manage mutual bills, material possessions and other personal financial commitments.  If you are not living with your partner and do not mutually own property including a business, banking accounts, etc., then there are no worries here other than mutually retrieving personal items that may have been left at each other’s respective homes.  Be sure to work out proprietary issues so that no one feels as if they are leaving the relationship with less than they are entitled to.  In any case my advice is to handle these matters with dignity.  Using your partner’s vulnerability with respect to finances, possessions and professional matters as a means of attack is ungentlemanly.  When two people are hurt enough to end a relationship, dealing with their ex with genuine politeness and tact is hardly at the top of their list.  Take my good advice gentlemen… keep it classy!

These practical preparations for bringing closure to a relationship are pretty much a no brainer… but as I have said… emotion often overrides rational thought, so a gentleman must constantly manage his emotions so that he may remain in control of his faculties if not only for the sake of his own dignity, for the dignity of his partner whom he had at least once loved on a time.  That love, however distant and besmirched by deeds for which there is not turning back to undo must finally count for something gentlemen…

Now that chattels and interests and other material things have been accounted for it will be time to deal with some requisite human issues.  If it is still possible for you and your partner to sit down and discuss mutual concerns regarding factors that may have precipitated the break-up now is the time to do so.  Before you come to the table give yourselves some time to assess your personal needs and concerns.  In order to go into the ring with a positive agenda when you come to the discussion table you should have both brainstormed positive/realistic outcomes and solutions.  Each partner must develop a strategy that will effectively put them back in control and re-establish themselves as a single, independent person.  As I recall each breakup I experienced, at some point my partner and I had a long, exhausting talk until we were both drained.  Unfortunately we did not efficiently deal with those issues that came up at or after the point of exhaustion.  Gentlemen… my suggestion is to plan ahead and break up your discussions with your ex even setting an agenda based on mutual lists but limited to only a few topics per session. 

My advice to you is to take the most positive route you can to rebuild yourself.  Relationships take a lot out of us unless we have been selfish and have allowed our partner to do all the hard work.  If this is the case you will know… that is if you are truly a mature gentleman.  If you are not a gentleman and are still immature then you may not recognize it now or at all… This may be the reason why your relationship is now at an end. 

For those of you who have a partner that has cut off all contact and is not amenable to discussion or any other form of communication… You my brotha are completely on your own.  You will need to be mature and if you do not have a mentor that can help you navigate through this process with minimal scarring and bitterness then you must go through all of the steps I have outlined above including those with which I will conclude in order to heal yourself and bring your own healthy sense of closure.

Once you have had time to work out the issues with your partner, whether in one marathon discussion or broken down into segments as I have suggested you must then take time to step back for a breather.  In a few days or weeks, depending on what generosity time allows, you both must come back to the table and share whatever insights and additional concerns that came to light as a result of the first discussion.  It may be necessary to have yet another follow-up until you both feel that you have covered all ground. 

Whenever I am faced with a really tough decision I get a lump in my throat and congestion in my chest, my voice gets scratchy and high pitched… I am upset.  The process of breaking-up is almost never an easy or enjoyable one unless both parties have truly transcended their relationship and mutually realize that the ending of their union has potentially launched them on a new and more exciting journey leaving them with new wisdom in the form of the lessons learned through breaking up.  The reality is that we are not always financially physically or emotionally prepared for the immediacy of the moment.  The dynamic of a breakup often involve moving out from a place where we were comfortable and able to afford.  Living alone is far more expensive than splitting the bills down the middle and with children it gets even more difficult to pull off.  If our credit, savings or other personal factors are not in order then it may be a real struggle even finding a new place.  When a relationship ends in a catastrophic blow out and one person is forced to leave for whatever reason, they may even be faced with temporary homelessness.  This is the cold reality of breaking up!  For a confirmed bachelor like myself, humming the tune, “God Bless The Child”, validates all of my past experience and wisdom concerning matters of the heart.  At the end of the day, “It Is What It Is” Brothas!  Just remember this; If you are faced with being put out or losing your home and property due to a break-up this is a time to forget your pride and ask for help! Help can come if you can humble yourself to receive it. 

One more word of advice my brothas.  The dynamics of a bitter and painful break-up can affect your ability to focus and this can cause you to lose your source of employment if it is not put in check!  In a time of crisis your source of employment, your source of income and independence may be the only place of salvation so keep it sacrosanct! Safeguard your job with all possible strength.  This means that you must not allow external harassment from your disgruntled partner to affect your job. 





Here is a general checklist of things not to get caught-up in during a break-up:

1.       Do not fight or threaten your partner.

2.       Do not destroy or throw out your partners possessions.

3.       If you suspect that your partner will falsely accuse you of a crime in order to have you arrested move out immediately and do not go near them.

4.       Do not tell either your friends or your partners friends that you plan to get them back or inflict any form of violence upon them.

5.       Keep your business to yourself! 

6.       When you see your partner getting crazy walk out and get away immediately.

Friends are often not friends, especially at times of unrest within your relationship.  As a gentleman you should be able to discuss any issue with your partner and the personal issues between you and your love should be sacrosanct!  If you find that your partner is sharing personal information with their friends and that they are being influenced by the advice of their friends then you should suggest that they take their friends on as lovers.  The same holds true for nosy and interfering family members.  If you are honestly not living up to your duties within your relationship because you are cheating or not handling your business as a man then you cannot begrudge the helpful and possible valuable advice given to your partner by loving and caring friends and family in the absence of any responsible input from yourself.  Again many men are blind to their treachery and weakness, so even the best advice may not be useful to them.  Maturity is something that happens through a process of evolution! It cannot be forced!

This is the last time in the world to be preoccupied by gossip or its potential.  Your relationship is coming to an end and eventually this will be common knowledge, brace yourself because friends will gossip and ask you inappropriate questions about your changing personal life.  Vultures will begin to speculate and lay claim on what they deem as new "Real Estate".  It will not be a socially comfortable time for you or your partner which is why you must work hard to be one anther's ally and friend during this time.  If it is clearly impossible to maintain discretion and your partner is a loose cannon shooting accusations and divulging your most personal intimate information in an angry, vindictive attempt to hurt you, lay low, say nothing and never have anything but positive things to say about your ex.  When your friends and enemies approach you as if concerned about your breakup the best strategy is to change the subject completely and look them in the eye to confirm that you are doing so.  If they persist as they probably will  you must either politely excuse yourself and walk away or kindly inform them that while you appreciate their concern you would appreciate their respect for your privacy.  Never get loud with them or make a scene! Handle it quietly, privately and with class! Your friends, (and those who pretend to be) are most likely less interested in helping you and more interested in procuring, confirming or getting more details on juicy gossip they have already heard.  If you want to test a person to see if they be friend or foe wait for them to approach you with concern and tell them something very personal you have completely made up, it is best if you and your ex are aware of this so that you can manage it later.  Be sure to tell the friend that under no circumstances is he to share this with anyone as it is highly personal and may make your break-up even harder.  Wait to see if this false gossip gets back to you, if it does you will know friend from foe.  But a warning to you... such games are not for critical break-ups, they are for ones that are manageable and in which both partners are communicating and supportive.  As I said before, there is no time to really manage gossip when your priorities should be focused on managing the proper ending of your relationship anyway.  

Here is a brief checklist for managing friends, gossip and drama during a break-up:

1. If possible manage your break-up quietly and privately with your partner.
2. Your partners friends may not be yours, consider that anything you share with them will be shared with your lover and perhaps embellished.
3. Manage what information you will share about your breakup including what friends and associates come to you with gossip so that you can weed then out.
4. Share which of your friends and associates come to you as vultures trying to get a date as soon as they see you are going to be on the market again.
5. If your partner is a loose cannon play mum! Say nothing if not a kind word to others and keep conversations brief and vague if you must say anything at all.
6. Keep a mental list of those friends and associates who become treacherous and manage them by keeping them ignorant.
7. Never allow anyone to force you to discuss your break-up. Politely change the subject or excuse yourself if they are persistent.  If necessary politely and firmly ask them to please mind their own business and leave the conversation.
8. Stay cool and calm! Never get emotional except in private or around friends that are proven allies and then only in private.
9. Remember, you can't stop people from gossiping and speculating, it is human nature to do so.  Focus on managing your break-up effectively and as privately as possible.
10. Never discuss your break-up at work with colleagues keep it strictly business and never allow the stresses of a break-up including gossip and unkind gestures of colleagues to get you into arguments at work.  While at work remain focused and never allow stresses to cause you to perform poorly on your job.  If you are too upset to work take some time off to clear your mind.

While you and your partner are managing your break-up it is important that you act as one another’s allies because gossip and envy will almost certain begin to circulate if it has not already begun.  Do not be paranoid.  It is human nature to gossip and just as children know what is going on any intelligent person who is close enough to you and your partner will know that something is not right.  What you can do is manage what they know.  Just because you are breaking up does not mean you are not still a team.  Handle this last stretch of road with class and finesse, only let out what you want to get out and then only when you are ready.  Don’t cry on your friends shoulders and make inflammatory remarks about your ex, it will surely get back to them! If it is your intent to hurt your ex then you are reading the wrong article about how to handle a break-up.  If you loved your ex enough to have sex with them, live with them, share with them or even have children with them how can you make a mockery of the love you clearly once felt by sinking to the lowest bottom line.  If you feel that you now hate the one you once loved then you are only fooling yourself!  I have no advice for such a person other than a referral to a psychiatrist! 

To revise a statement I made earlier: Using your partner as an object of attack to deal with your unresolved frustrations at the ending of a relationship is ungentlemanly.  When two people are hurt enough to end a relationship, dealing with their ex with genuine politeness and tact is hardly at the top of their list but it should be and if you are a mature gentleman then it is and will be a distinguishing hallmark of exemplary behavior.  Take my good advice gentlemen… keep it classy!

Written by:  David L. Vollin

A NOTE ON DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING

For those of us who lived it… The Civil Rights Era, no matter what side you were on, was enamored of one man’s energy, Dr. Martin Luther King… For those of us who followed his steps along freedoms trail it was almost a metaphor for the saga of another man of legend who also had the power to move the world… over 2,000 years ago in the troubled world of the Middle East. 

The metaphor is incontrovertible but in our time we saw that King was indeed a man and not a God… possessed of the same human passions, strengths and frailties that every one of us possesses… who are men.

What made this man so very different from you and I was his vision, his drive, the infrastructure around him that served as a support network, and the time…   

The time was a period of massive social unrest roughly 160 years after the Emancipation of Black Peoples in America, a country that nonetheless still passionately denied them any semblance of equality or dignity; A country that had gone so far as to contradict the very sacred language of the American Constitution and Declaration of Independence to deny a single race of people their basic civil liberties and rights under the law… 

In 1905 and 1906 W.E.B. Dubois galvanized an illustrious assembly of progressive Black men and women in the 1^st and 2^nd Niagara Movement.  They met in 1905 at Niagra Falls and again in 1906 at the HBCU Storer College in Harpers Ferry West Virginia.  My parents graduated from the historic Storer College and were married in 1953 between The Niagra Movement and The Civil Rights Era of the 1960's.  This afternoon I called them at home to share thoghts about Dr. Kings birthday after they had listened to Rev. Jerimiah Wright speak at our families historic church.

The Niagra Movement devised a manifesto openly challenging the racist policies of The American Government.  This was the first time since the glorious Abolitionist Frederick Douglas that Black peoples had organized themselves within a coherent and respectable movement to challenge racism.  The inclusion of women was an acknowledgment of the long standing cause of women’s suffrage…  which was also gaining momentum in America after what they felt was a  sore betrayal following the emancipation of Blacks after The Civil War.

Clearly The Civil Rights movement was much much larger than Dr. King himself and if one were to compare his accomplishment to those of other pioneers of civil rights such as Frederick Douglass, Nannie Helen Burroughs, W.E.B. Dubois or Booker T. Washington to name only a few his accomplishments would not generate the longer of the lists…

BUT DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING WAS THE MAN OF THE HOUR… AND THAT HOUR DEMANDED ATTENTION!

Black peoples, descendants of slaves who had made it possible for the American economy to become a major world power only 100 years after it became a nation in 1776 by submitting to servitude in a slave labor driven economy demanded their rights after nearly 400 years under the yoke of their slavemasters whip! 

They were tired and demanded change, they had nothing In America and were therefore willing to give up their lives for the sweet cause of economic and social freedom and equality. 

You see… freeing the saves could never have been enough… to perpetually lock them out of the social and economic systems that built and drove this country was to condemn them to slavery all over again but with a different language.  Lincoln and every other White man and woman who ever contemplated the institution of slavery and the factors that would need to be in place in order to correct it understood this.  For them to deliberately place obstacles against its realization, ignore and fail to prevent their placement was a direct act of collusion with these racist policies.  The blood of Black and White men and women had been shed in good faith to correct this evil… Therefore the implementation of the racist laws that continued to disgrace The American Government from the time of the Emancipation of American slaves to the end of The Civil Rights Era was a cold and dishonorable betrayal of those who had given their lives for the cause of freedom and equality.

Black peoples faced three choices.  The first was a permanent seperation from America as proposed by Marcus Garvey. 

The second was to claim thier American Citizenship and rights from a government that has witheld them, as Frederick Douglass had advised.  The third was a vilent debacle such as the one unsucessfully played out by John Brown at Harpers Ferry October 16-18 1859.  Frederick Douglass, a close confidant of John Brown, strongly advised him against this course of action and relinquished his support of John Browns insurrection.  It is without a doubt that had Frederick Douglass not seperated himself from John Brown at this time he would have found himself embroiled in charges of treason against the Union Army of The United States of America. 

By the time Dr. Martin Luther King came on the scene it was very clear the path Black Americans desired was to claim their full Citizenship rights, privilages and protections under the laws of The United States.  Under Dr. Kings august leadership the Black and White members of The Civil Rights Movement were determined but humble knowing that the time for the realization of their cause had indeed come after many hundreds of years...

This is why the martyrdom of Dr. Martin Luther King is so very important to memorialize.  His name speaks for the hundreds of thousands of dead laying in Civil War cemeteries or whose names and remains were lost upon the battlefield.  His name speaks for the millions of slaves whose names and remains have been forgotten and lost to time… who’s bodies lay on the bottom of the ocean, where they died in the middle passage.  Men and women who died during village raids in their homeland in Africa or who perished before they ever left the shore for America lost to history now but remembered at the utterance of his name.  Although his accomplishments may not measure up to some other civil rights leaders Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was the man of the hour, his name and image galvanized the efforts of many centuries of struggle… So today we revere not only the man and his personal contribution, the giving of his life, but the spirit with which it was sacrificed… to bring together in one great flame… the tears, hopes and lives of centuries of pain and common struggle…

David. L. Vollin

WHAT CHALLENGES FACE THE GAY COMMUNITY AS IT ASSIMILATES INTO MAINSTREAM AMERICAN CULTURE?

In the not so very remote past a Gay Man in These United States could rarely live his life openly unless he lived in one of the few bastions of civilization such as New York City, San Francisco, Miami, Washington, D.C. or Philadelphia to name the few.  Socioeconomics also played a huge role in this scenario as men who were more financially independent were able to express themselves without fear of losing their source of income and these men could more easily adjust to the loss of support from friends and family based on their sexual orientation largely because of their financial independence.  Being openly gay anywhere else would almost certainly have been met with swift and often violent retribution by what city-folks often call, “The Other America” borrowed from JFK, and retrofitted here to include an America that sees things only in terms of "Heterosexuality"!  In the past and certainly at the opening of the 21st Century this is why many openly gay men have either moved to or never left those cosmopolitan cities...  The awesome thing about America is that surely as this is true so are there many unexpected pockets of “Civilized Life” in places citified folk would never expect them… they remain the wild-cards of our culture… rare, isolated… but very real…

The popular gay culture of the 1970’s exposed the world to the gay lifestyle through the mediums of Disco, House Music and good old fashioned American protest.   A decade later the Aids Epidemic beginning in the early 1980’s threatened to push back years of social progress as attitudes about this unrelenting plague came to focus blame on what it felt were the “Sexual Excesses” of the Gay lifestyle.  Overnight Aids became a “Gay” disease principally because the first known cases in the United States were comprised primarily of gay men.  Fortunately through educational campaigns and the massive humanitarian efforts of common peoples and celebrities the negative stigma branded upon gay men suffering from Aids was transformed into a universal effort to truly move history forward; this massive movement ultimately worked to bring a greater degree of knowledge and acceptance of Gays and their lifestyles into the forefront of late 20^th century and early 21^st century popular culture.  Today, America is experiencing a renaissance of Gay culture.  Same- sex marriage now legal in many states has generated as much controversy as it has acceptance of “The Gay Way”!

When The Civil Rights Era achieved desegregation the stubborn barriers of racism began to disappear, immediately forcing Americans to sort it all out.  Black families moved into white neighborhoods.  Black employees were hired by companies who had never had Black staff.  America slowly began to assimilate.   What once would have been a source of intense controversy became mundane and things that had never been possible before came to  be...

Many civil rights leaders initially resented the comparison of Gay rights to Civil rights.  That these freedom fighters would fail to comprehend and affirm the critical relationship between the two movements is almost certainly related to the age old stigma attached to homosexuality.  The two fronts, Gay and Civil rights, went their own respective ways and within the realm of Gay rights there was and remains marked segregation between whites and blacks and other ethnicities of color.  But the two struggles, Gay and Civil rights are really brothers and women’s rights are their sister, they are all siblings of the same Family...  inheriting the tradition of common struggle for equality and dignity…

As usual I find myself looking back over the long history of this common struggle and asking myself,  “Where are we now”?  I see it as a very complex matter… over simplification troubles me because of its inherent tendency to overlook vital dynamics in order to appear to make a clean statement.  The cleaner the statement is the greater it tends to marginalize and repel others who cannot visualize themselves within its diluted and anesthetized purview.  My answer to this question is that I see America in the middle of a massive cultural evolution that has firmly placed gays on the map and having found them in nearly every boardroom, Pro-Sports Team, political party, religious community and zip code of this country Americans are now attempting to make the much needed modifications to properly document the power and normalcy of their presence!

For gays, the price of inclusion may be to ultimately disappear into the melting pot of America! Gay icons that personify protest and struggle may one day become noble hallmarks of yet another group of peoples who proudly call themselves American.  Isn't that the nature of struggle? That once it has reached its end, once the race is won the need for protest is over?  Then everyone can go home, relax, going about business as usual.  Although this poetic summary belies the reality of civil rights, a struggle that never dies, it does establish hope at a point of final resolution.  The ultimate reality may be that “Inclusion is another form of anonymity"!  And as for the activists of the cause of gay rights, when the hard work is done will they find another cause to champion or will they just lay back and let the "Good Times Roll”?

The struggle for gay rights has hardly reached a point that we can safely label as, “The Good Times”, but gentlemen… times are much better now than they ever have been.  Today Americans can watch substantive media include that cater to an enlightened and self-actualized gay audience.  It has made a tremendous difference for young and old people simply to see other gay men and women portrayed in positive roles knowing that they are accepted as a viable part of society.  The fairly recent proliferation of positive gay media and groundbreaking policy has effectively eliminated many of the factors that have allowed Gays to rationalize living in a marginalized reality sometimes referred to as the “D.L.”.  It is a new day Brothas!

This leaves us with two very different Schools of Thought espoused by two very different cultures within the gay community and ironically within the straight community.  The “Old School” more profoundly recognizes both the importance and the history of social struggle having navigated from a much more restrictive to a far less restrictive world.  The “New School” has grown up in an environment of inclusion and tolerance where diversity of sexual orientation is honestly viewed as normal, natural and subordinate to the overriding cause of harmonious human existence.  The New School is already programmed for inclusion, without the benefit of understanding of the history of struggle they take it for granted. 

For what it is worth, many New Schooler’s feel that Old School Gays were a lot more “Extra” because they felt they had a point to make.  Old Schooler’s used to the campiness of the gay lifestyle wonder where the new generations of gays are?  They wonder why the new gays are not acting gay!  Within the past 10 to 16 years there has been a coherent movement within the community of gay men to blend more with their heterosexual counterparts.  The universal struggle for gay men to masculinize themselves in order to assimilate into American culture has reached almost herculean proportions in the 21^st Century.  When I first came out in the mid 1970’s it was considered common for a masculine gay man to take a lover who was more feminine.  Today the situation has all but reversed itself.  Gay men are now looking to play down the feminine stereotype and are looking to connect with other men who are just as masculine as themselves.  The whole ordeal has created a rift in the culture of the gay community especially within the black community which has become divided along a broad line delineating the realm of feminine gay men as distinctly separate from that of masculine gay men.  Masculine gay black men will not frequent gay clubs and establishments repulsed by men whom they deem to be feminine and unmanly.  Feminine young men of the New School are inspired by a new era of gay media such as “Americas Next Top Model”, and including cinema such as, “Noah’s Ark” that appear to focus more upon and celebrate the image of the effeminate gay male and this has given them a new self-awareness and pride. 

Fliers for parties and events distributed during gay pride and throughout the year bear overt advertisements giving notice that feminine men are not invited and will not be admitted.  At one point beginning in the mid 1990’s large groups of “masculine” gay men began to boycott the gay circuit parties launched during each cities Gay Pride Weekend opting for alternate locations where they felt effeminate men would not be able to find them, and relocated to exotic tropical and international locations to cultivate their vision of a more masculine version of gay pride.  What could be the cause of all this internal strife between men who have so much in common?  It is the result of the assimilation of gay men into mainstream culture.  Why do we not see more masculine gay men coming forth, making themselves known to the world? Where is this silent but active population of gay black men who shun the gay clubs and lifestyle and what is their reason for doing so?  It is my conclusion that the New School of gay man will increasingly choose the more direct route… falling into the traditional male role… assimilating into generic, traditional American culture and the established male image and persona.  As the need for a surrogate culture; once needed to nurture the now acceptable culture of transsexual and transgender males dwindles; these men will also begin to assimilate more seamlessly.  Being able to obtain regular employment living as themselves, the difficult life of many drag queens who have depended on the stage to support themselves, will dwindle.  As the “Specialness” of being gay draws to a close within the context of American culture the camp will begin to close down, its gay patrons now running in the same rat race as their heterosexual counterparts.  As gay men assimilate into the fabric of American culture it will no longer matter that they make any symbolic gesture as to the nature of their sexual orientation nor will there then be any barriers to them doing so if they so wish.  I personally believe that the assimilation of gay men into American culture will bring out the best of both worlds but it could also result in the loss of many unique and beautiful characteristics that have been long standing hallmarks of gay culture. 

If sexual orientation will no longer be an issue in American culture gay men will experience a barrier free climate in which they can freely live their lives.  Men who are attracted to their feminine side will be able to express themselves without fear and their stylishness and mannerisms will lose much of their shock value.  Masculine men will be able to enjoy being men unchallenged and virtually unchanged!  They will be able to abandon elaborate smoke screens and deceptions cultivated to falsify an image of heterosexuality.  Men who are gay will no longer need to deceive women when they really want to be with a man, at least in theory…  Like it or not, the old gay ways will eventually melt into the cultural soup of  popular and mainstream culture leaving many of its legendary and stereotypical characteristics behind in the process this transformation can have both positive and negative dimensions. 

As gay blend into mainstream culture many dysfunctional aspects of gay culture cultivated out of the necessity to “Hide” will gradually fall out of practise or in some cases they may actually intensify since there is no longer any stigma placed upon them.  Likewise many amazing facets that have always made gay culture so distinctive and festive will also begin to lose relevance and popularity.  Without doubt, there will be periods of romantic revivalism scattered throughout the period of transition and beyond. Assimilation can be a wonderful thing when it represents a symbiotic fusion of two very different worlds.  It is a strong indication that a civilization is healthy, happy and still in the process of improving and reinventing itself. 

But gays must carefully think out their assimilation into mainstream culture to make sure that they preserve the hallmarks of their world for future generations.  This means that they must continue to encourage and patronize all of the colorful and historic traditions that comprise the diverse gay culture.  They must also get on the bandwagon and leave behind old prejudices and bitterness toward heterosexuals.  Like Blacks, gays have had to carve out a world of their own that catered specifically to their own needs and afforded them the respect and dignity they were denied by mainstream American culture.  The new generations of gay men are more at home with mainstream culture and do not feel such a strong sense of separation.  This is a place where the Old School and New School of gay men can truly come together to move the history of their unique culture forward, preserving the grand old traditions and forging new ones that intimately weave them into the mainstream of American culture a culture that sees gay and straight culture as one. 

There remain areas of profound strife within the gay community as a whole.  Racial, ethnic, health and economic issues continue to rend the world of gays asunder.  The great struggle for gays to assimilate into mainstream American culture has caused tension between gays who view themselves as true masculine men and gays who view themselves as effeminate; both sides wanting respect in their respective struggles for self-determination.