FOR THE BROTHAS: AN INTRODUCTION

It must have been about 20 years ago when I first began thinking about creating a "Cultural Salon" as a reaction to the mundane social circles In Washington D.C. The richness of intellectual and artistic interchange had died, college friends had moved, the internet had not yet become the phenomenon it now is... I romanticised about the Salons of the mid to late 1800's in Paris, London and Berlin and the cultural dynamo of the Harlem Rennaisance. I was fortunate enough to meet a gentleman, an artist who lived and traveled with James Baldwin... Jimmy he affectionately called him, and he spoke often of their small cottage in southern France and of the many Artists, Poets and Luminaries that dropped in to chat and relax. Well, the impressionists, cubists, modernists, etc. all hung out together famously in those days and shared their ideas with one another creating a creative greenhouse in a world that was rapidly changing. I longed to have lived in those times, to have met Cassat, Rodin, Ellington, Fitzgerald, Baker, Balwin, well I did finally meet Baldwin and others purely for the joy of intellection upon the arts. This was in the late 1980's and by the mid 2000's I happened to run into a friend of mine from Hampton University who had been living in New York since he graduated in the early 90s. Well, I was surprised to hear him comment that in all of the wonder that is New York he never met anyone who ever really had anything interesting to say about art, literature, architecture, science, fashion or anything... I was so surprised to hear this since it had also been my experience. Well here I am in 2011 attempting the Virtual Salon...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

URBAN ETIQUETTE: THE ART OF WALKING IN…



Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Gentlemen!

Is urban living not crazy enough that we cannot take time to afford others the gentlemanly virtue of a graciously accommodated egress?  Remember your manners the next time you step up to an elevator, a door, gate or any means of entry where you are entering and others who are already inside are exiting; always allowing those inside to exit first! 



On account of my assertive nature I  too have sometimes allowed impatience and insensitivity to tempt me with the potential effect of a most perverse obstruction to my better judgment.  But I have nearly always triumphed over barbarity, gathering my manners and pulling back just in time to rescue my imperiled virtue... Now more than ever I observe those who should otherwise be the shining example of gentlemanliness sink to the level of the most depraved vulgarian.  Why just today I was pushed back inside the elevator by an impatient young Gavin charging into the out-coming crowd like a bull in heat!  And anon, this time by what I thought could have been a seasoned gentlemen, I was grazed by a hurried man as he squeezed his way into the interstice between the door jamb and my comfort  zone. 



Let me leave you with more than just the horror of these indelicate urban adventures.  As a rule always allow those who are exiting to do so graciously before attempting to enter.  A gentleman will stand to the side completely so that he is not blocking any portion of the width of the means of egress.  He makes a point of standing well-poised at the side looking calmly ahead as if unencumbered by haste.  A gentleman is not to be expected to open the door for outgoing pedestrian traffic as if he were a doorman and that is why he will patiently stand to the side allowing the crowd to completely filter out before attempting to enter.  A man who insists on holding the door for strangers as if delighting in the idea that he is performing a good deed to be clearly observed by others is a buffoon, that is the work of a doorman and it is vulgar for a gentleman to assume the duties of a doorman or porter or any service staff employed for the purpose of facilitating the public; it is disrespectful to the seasoned art of their craft.   If when entering a building or portal a  gentleman encounters a mature, elderly and distinguished  lady or gentleman as they are exiting he may pull the door open without making it a formal gesture, nodding if he is thanked whereupon he may safely enter. 



Manners are most effective when they are administered with discretion, honor and humility.  And even though we often encounter those who are not possessed of these gentlemanly virtues it is decidedly impolite to make them aware of their vulgarity especially as a condescension.  As a gentleman you have no authority to publicly judge anyone, real judges get paid to do render this task but limit their opinions to the courtroom!  Set an example by being an example.  And always remember these simple rules of entering for they will serve you well.

fin


Written by Bigdaddy Blues

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