MEN’S ETIQUETTE, A RESTAURANT WITH NO HAT CHECK OR COATROOM…

MEN’S ETIQUETTE, A RESTAURANT WITH NO HAT CHECK OR COATROOM…

The first time I ever seriously contemplated the subject of a timely revision to the matter of men’s etiquette was when I was entreated to remove an exceptionally esteemed fedora in a somewhat less than mediocre eating establishment.  The question was not necessarily if I would have removed it in homage to the ritual convention that gentleman must always remove their chapeau when entering into a restaurant as I here quote Emily Post advising men that, “In a fashionable restaurant a man leaves his hat and coat in the coat room or checks them at the entrance of the restaurant.” Rather, the question was where would I place my then-favorite chapeau as there was neither a coat room or hat check.  I was therefore challenged to discover a nearby location where my chapeau would neither be ruined by the tiniest morsel of food or grease nor be stolen whilst I dined.  So grave had my choices become that I chose not to dine there at all but the dilemma remained.

Now when I refer to a gentleman’s hat I mean a fine fedora, Kufe, Kaftan, homburg, boater, derby, homburg, fez, krakul, ascot or other type of more formal dress hat certainly not any of the more informal varieties such as a baseball cap, a skull cap or stocking hat.  Hats that are of a formal religious nature are exempt from the secular rules of etiquette as they are governed by more restrictive standards such as a turban a zucchetto, a toquem, fez or biretta.

I had never got so political, not about a mere question of etiquette as I have now become, but let me organise my argument in a comparison contrast so that you gentlemen can see the true nature of my thoughts.  First allow me to define the term, “Restaurant”.  Without delving overlong into the history of the use of the terminology it appears that the term restaurant widely refers to an eating establishment primarily devoted to the preparation of food including the serving of beverages with the key distinction being that customers are primarily intended to dine on the premises with the smaller portion of customers dining off premises in what is commonly referred to as a, “carryout” feature.  I feel that it is largely the dynamic of dining on premises which drives the necessity for a gentleman to remove his hat.  The restaurateur is charged with the responsibility of preparing a compelling dining experience for his gentle patrons including safe and clean accommodations for a gentleman’s chapeau.  A restaurateur who has not provided these amenities and who has not even made the crudest of hat hooks available on the wall nearest the seating or on the benches where gentleman might sit should therefore not expect a gentleman to place his fine hat upon the same table at which he intends to dine. 

Unfortunately, the new generation of restaurants do not understand the fine intent of etiquette with respect to a gentleman’s chapeau and yet in their pretension suffer their patrons to remove their hats upon demand.  A restaurateur who is truly refined should never insult a patron by demanding or even suggesting the removal of his hat.  A maître d’ might politely offer to take a gentleman’s hat to hat and coat check at the door but he must never insist, mention it a second time nor make it appear in any way that the gentleman was being discourteous or was ignorant of the proper gentlemanly manner.   A truly fine restaurant will accommodate its patrons, not scold or oppress them since it is not their business to teach proper etiquette but rather to dispense fine food and customer service!

One of the dynamics of the late twentieth century has been the utilization of hats as a symbolic gesture by urban gangs.  Business establishments that are forced to respond to these clear and serious threats have implemented no hat policies that have caught on in places where this threat is nonexistent without the practise ever being reconsidered.  So welcome to the twenty-first century; a paranoid, litigious and generally discourteous landscape where gentlemanly values are not understood or revered!  Today’s gentleman is virtually alone, and his civilized sense of courtesy will be looked upon by many as antiquated, irrelevant and offensive.  Under these circumstances it is easy to understand why many men no longer have a desire to be true gentlemen.  So as gentlemen, we represent all that stands between chaos and barbarism!  But a gentleman does not ever want to become overzealous about his convictions at least not to the point that he becomes rude, or might insult those who are truly ignorant of the fact they are ignorant.

This, of course leaves a true gentleman with but one option, when he is wearing a fine chapeau and intends to dine out then he must immediately inquire at the door, and if there is a maître d’ direct this question toward him, tactfully so as not to make a great fuss of it.  It is also very important that a gentleman not insult the restaurant or eating establishment because it has no accommodations for hi8s hat.  He should not be so selfish as  to imagine that any business, would suddenly create a hat check for him and he should never impose upon the restaurateur or manager to make special accommodations for him to place his hat in some secure place perhaps the office or elsewhere.  A gentleman must respect the nature of the business that confronts him; it literally is what it is!  Furthermore, if the gentleman is dining with one or more persons he should have inquired beforehand.  It is impolite to invite dinner guests to a restaurant without having first verified its virtues.  A gentleman will have not gone merely on word of mouth but would have checked the menu and price beforehand a task made all he simpler with the internet.  A loophole to this dilemma when a gentleman is unsure of the restaurants hat policy is for the him to tell his guests he is checking availability for a table and whilst he checks if he discovers there are no accommodations he returns to them informing them that the restaurant is booked with appointments.  But this manner of hunting should not go on to the utter frustration of all parties involved.  A gentleman cannot repeat this mistake, he must  forgo his need to protect his chapeau so as not to hold his hungry guests hostage so the gentleman must decide to either remove his hat place it in the car, if that option exists or employ any number of cyber tools to locate a gentle restaurant that will have the proper accommodations.

Many restaurants want to create the image of luxury and sophistication by asking male patrons to remove their hats but a fine restaurant will have a coat and hat check specifically for this purpose leaving it up to the patron to either remove or wear his hat as he so pleases.  A gentleman must always remember to tip the clerk at the hat check directly and separately from the waiter.   A gentleman will never make a fuss concerning whether a restaurant can accommodate his hat check, likewise if a gentleman finds that he has entered an establishment that is aggressive about the removal of his fine dress-hat he should simply pay his tab and leave.  There may be arguments for when a gentleman can wear his hat in a restaurant or if he can wear it when he is at the bar only or if he is in an informal eating establishment such as a diner, café or fast food establishment but these will be subjects of another time…

Written by David Vollin

PONDERING PAPAL PREPONDERANCE…

PONDERING PAPAL PREPONDERANCE…

Engraving Showing an Inca King Bowing To A Conquestador

As religions go one might say that The Catholic Church is doing quite well after nearly 1,688 years since its founding in ancient Rome.  Roman Catholicism is a relatively young religion; in fact, it is only about 357 years older than Islam which was founded around 1,331 years ago. Judaism is nearly 2,325 years older than Roman Catholicism.   Comparatively there is evidence that the Hindu faith began 5,132 years ago nearly 3,624 years prior to Roman Catholicism.  To put this equation into proper context one must look to Africa where the Cushitic or Egyptian culture and religion began to flourish more than 8,000 years ago, nearly 6,325 years before Catholicism or Christianity had even been thought of. 

Inca Gold Artifact Similar To Those Taken Back To Europe.

It is remarkable that in spite of the fact there are still religions far older and larger than Roman Catholicism the media is often ignores them in lieu of even the slightest news of the Pope.  The global preponderance that The Catholic Church has seized in its brief history is largely tied to the fact that it has emerged as a major economic power often leading the march of manifest destiny as nations have fallen under its influence.  In the Ancient world, the wealth of The Catholic Church came from conquests in the Middle East and Europe  but as Islam and Protestantism drove them out of The Catholic Church rooted itself in the new world redoubling its wealth and power from the exploitation of Latin American resources alone. 

The Spaniards Murdered Millions Of Pre-Colombian Peoples  Launching  A Tide Of Genocide.

The Roman Catholic Church has bought its place in the global stage through a bloody and violent history.  Considering barbaric legacy of The Catholic Church having executed the genocide of nearly all the indigenous Pre-Columbian cultures in Latin America, the Caribbean and North America it is more than appropriate that the voice of its last frontier has been raised to the holy altar of Rome.  But one cannot help but wonder if this unprecedented marvel is owed more to a to a deeply rooted sense guilt expressed as if in expiation for sins of the past!  Or is it a last desperate grasp for some kind of manifest destiny now that Europe has turned its back on the church.  Selecting Popes from the ruins of communism in Eastern Europe may not have stirred enough of the souls of the faithful.  Europe is wearied by dogma; it is still haunted by the cold war.  It has been hundreds of years since the Spanish Galleons sailed away with the riches of the new world leaving a broken, corrupt and impoverished Latin America behind.  The price Latin America’s surviving aboriginal populations paid for salvation was hardly an even trade for the obliteration of their culture but at the end of the day, that is all they got, a rosary a gaily painted Santa Maria and a dizzying canopy of sun tanned cherubs set in a crumbling Chiaroscuro, Baroque Basilica.  In contrast, one must visit the fabulous cathedrals of Toledo and Seville in Spain in order to marvel at the vast wealth stolen from Latin America.  Of course, one has also to visit St. Peters, the papal seat, to see how the exploitation of Latin American wealth and resources manifested itself in great works of art and architecture dedicated to the glory of a European god over the gods of savages and to European greed and lust for power.  As its real power wanes in Europe The Catholic Church has returned to the crime scene again, pouring over the bones of old victims, looking for refreshment in a world it has forgotten for nearly three hundred years…

Pre-Colombian Gold Effigies

For this and many other reasons I find the recent selection of the pontiff from Argentina to be an unremarkable and rather desperate move.  Latin America is the last place on the planet that The Catholic Church has not worn out its welcome!  While it weathers out its scandals elsewhere, (a survival skill it has refined down to an art), It anticipates the breaking of new-old ground in Latin America; but will the scandals follow?

Gold Plaque

Like every other continent, Latin America faces issues of overpopulation, poverty and illiteracy.  In a world where there are fewer resources, fewer jobs, not enough money, too many people and not enough civil rights The obvious issues of abortion, women’s rights, tolerance of sexually diverse lifestyles and many others that are common to twenty-first century human culture will challenge The Catholic Church in Latin America to step up to the plate or be relegated to that hallowed and respected but obsolete corner of human consciousness where it is ever and anon finding itself in the minds of progressive men and women. 

A Noble Pre-Colombian At The Time Of The Conquistadors

Save for the purpose of weak, “Coffee Talk,” I have already become bored with the entire media drama surrounding the new Pontiff.  It already appears that this represents an intensification of the conservatism of The Catholic Church in a time of otherwise unprecedented social growth.  The fact that the new Pope is from the lugubriously racist country of Argentina bodes even worse for the cause of global tolerance.  For too many years the Catholic Church has done nothing but blow smoke up the asses of innocent and impressionable peoples and whether it was white or black smoke, the smell was just as foul!  For my part I am utterly bored with the entire affair of pondering papal preponderance…

Gold Mask

Written by David Vollin

WHAT NOBODY WANTS TO ADMIT ABOUT THE BLACK COMMUNITY…

WHAT NOBODY WANTS TO ADMIT ABOUT THE BLACK COMMUNITY…

Black people have failed at being stewards of their own communities, well, not all Black peoples but clearly those who dwell in some of the roughest and most economically challenged in America!  That is where such stewardship is most needed, and where it is most absent.  There is one very clear link to the failure of these communities’; they have adopted the motto of cowards, "Don't Snitch" and “Don’t Strive For Excellence” and it has devastated what was once a strong but delicate balance of order and civility.   As such the term, “Black Community” is nothing more than a weather worn epitaph for these places which had once been functional neighborhoods notwithstanding the economic and other perverse challenges they faced.

An unschooled mind would think it far easier for a Black community composed of well-educated and hardworking white and blue collar professionals to achieve and maintain a stable, healthy and functional community because they are personally invested in its safety, quality and welfare.   But most successful Black communities must constantly battle an influx of the same criminal, barbarisms that have taken root in less gifted neighborhoods.  The treat of crime and violence is only a breath away from most working and middle class Black communities especially in the city.  These communities are constantly victimized by opportunistic criminals coming from less advantaged black neighborhoods to prey on their hard won prosperity.  This reality leads to the obvious but erroneous conclusion that the black man is his own antithesis, his own poison!  Crime is the byproduct of poverty regardless of race.  Poverty can be quantified in terms of economics and intellect; race is only an incidental variable of crime.

There is an obvious connexion between the flight of middle class Blacks to the suburbs and that of whites.  The irony is that they have both sought to escape the same phenomenon, ghetto-mentality and/or slave-mentality!  The biggest and most puzzling irony is the way American media popularizes ghetto lifestyle while at the same time American ghettos are under attack and are being aggressively demolished in lieu of gentrification.  Americans are amenable to utilise ghettoisms for purposes of humorous entertainment but nobody wants to take the ghetto girl or boy home to mama and without a doubt nobody wants them living next door either!  As long as Americans are comfortably buffered from
“Ghetto Culture” by the reassuring but intangible medium of cyberspace they imagine they are safe! But there is a crazy spin to gentrification which has always pen demonized as representative of the influx of whites and other traditionally economically fortified ethnic groups but has ignored the influx of middle and upper middle class Blacks.  As poor Blacks are being moved out of American cities those affluent Blacks living on the border of this migration are moving back into the city into gentrified slums, neighborhoods now populated with an ethnic array middle and upper middle class folks creating a reverse-migration of the poor to the outskirts of town.  In time those neighborhoods caught between the exclusive suburbs and the renovated, high-rent urban districts will eventually be routed out as property values increase to a point that will no longer be able to support housing affordable to the poor.  In time the poor will be removed to rural enclaves far beyond the city and suburb.  It is wholly conceivable that eventually poor Blacks will live in isolated shanty-towns cut off from the amenities of the cities; neighborhoods that might resemble concentration camps complete with their own police and prisons to manage the crime.  This prediction is more than just an Orwellian fantasy; it might one day come to pass!

The twenty-first century has found that affluent, middle class and working class Blacks are turning their backs to the poor, under-educated and disadvantaged that continue to dwell in the historic ghettos of most American cities.  Faced with the prospect of sending their children to decent schools and fending off crime spilling over from ghettos adjacent to their own neighborhoods, they have everything to gain by the dismantling of urban ghettos and the relocation of its population to more remote locations.  Given the history of crime and other atrocities they have been forced to endure can you honestly blame them?

The Black American ghettos were never historically a fun or beautiful place to live.  But during the late 1960’s through the 1990’s their historic borders widened to encompass historically stable Black neighborhoods all devastated by the culture of drugs and the crime that accompanied it.  The gains of generations of hard working Black folk were lost in a matter of decades as their children abandoned the education and work ethics of their parents losing their inherited property and assets while transfixed in a multiple spiral of variables ranging from incarceration to drug addiction.  As these ghettos expanded they became more and more vicious transforming into a cesspool of anarchy, barbarism and profound ignorance!  In the name of easy money and out of fear these Black people allowed family and love ties to cause them to abandon their ethics, morals and the very foundation of human decency!  To other ethnic groups looking at the black community it surely appears to be barbaric on an unprecedented scale!  One has only to try the experiment of pretending to be another race looking at the headlines of the newspapers, absorbing the long list of homicide after homicide; shooting after shooting; robbery after robbery; arrest after arrest!  Can you honestly blame them for their low opinion of black peoples?  Yes you can… they should and can be more understanding, less generalizing but realistically, they just absorb what they see, after all it’s not their battle anyway!

They fear us and despise the Black man and his community and have no interest in reforming it at all, they see only the quick solution to move the ghetto as far away from them as possible and to perhaps make some money in the process!  Nobody can cure the black community but itself!  There has to be some tough love or things will never improve, the ignorance appears to be widening not growing smaller...  Dependence on public assistance growing, percentages of illiteracy, incarceration, unemployment and teen pregnancy growing, it is a self-fulfilling prophecy of utter doom! 

On the other hand Black Americans coming from other communities are experiencing unprecedented successes!  Black families are still able to produce doctors, lawyers, master electricians, politicians, master plumbers, engineers, carpenters, architects, sanitation engineers, designers, teachers, lawyers, principles and administrators, bus drivers, business entrepreneurs, chemists, music Moghuls, to their credit.  But after decades of disturbing headliners mourning how young and promising Black prodigies have been cut down by the “Random Ghetto Factor” or RGF, these families are moving as far away from the ghetto and all of its attributes as they possibly can or facilitating buffers from them; they want nothing to do with it and can you honestly blame them.  In all truth, you cannot!  The Black ghetto is out of control, it is a catabolic threat unlike any other that seems to gain even more momentum even as it gets closer to certain obliteration!  It has been said many times before, “It is no crime to be born in or come from the ghetto but it is indeed a crime to perpetuate the ignorance and barbarity that has come to be characterized as the ghetto mentality”!

I recall a conversation I had in the early 1990’s With Michael Smith, Essex Hemphill and others regarding the way we perceived that racism was being managed by Black people in general.  In that conversation Mike pointed out that Black people should never just react to racism, rather they must be proactive in order to avert it!  In short, it is no longer acceptable as a general rule for Black Americans to attribute the cause of all of their problems to racism.  Black Americans have got so accustomed to blaming the white man for all of their problems they have failed to look at themselves as their own oppressors.  Although racism is still very much a factor every Black American must manage in their daily lives more immediate are the real threats Black people pose to themselves.  The big and powerful “What If” in this equation is, “What if Black Americans could manage a level of solidarity across class and gender that would neutralize the devastating effects of self-administered racism”?  In the end it will take a monumental coordination on multiple levels to identify, contain and counteract the eroding effects of ghettoism including black on black crime.  It’s not an impossible task but it will require something that appears to have been lost not only within the Black American Population but in American culture as a whole; that is the ability of people who share similar causes to effectively unite and galvanize themselves toward the accomplishment of goals made infinitely more complex by the disparate nature of society.  If there is but one truth that might lift the pall from an ambivalent and apathetic Black America it will ultimately be the revelation of what nobody wants to admit about The Black American Community…

Written by David Vollin

Administrator: For “The Brothas Cultural, Intellectual Salon” on Facebook

and on Blogger at:  http://www.forthebrothas.blogspot.com/   

EMBRACING OUR FRATERNAL LEGACIES

EMBRACING OUR FRATERNAL LEGACIES IN HOMAGE TO THEIR FATHERS: WHY IT IS AN ESSENTIAL PRACTISE FOR THE FUTURE OF THE BLACK COMMUNITY?

Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. In Pittsburgh circa 1918.    Alpha Phi Alpha was the first Black Fraternity Founded in 1906.

The Historic, Black, Greek Letter Fraternal Organizations represent one of the most important links in the continuum of intellectual and social achievement in The Black Community.  These Fraternal Organizations have established the foundations upon which Black American men have cultivated themselves; without them the strategic social, political and economic advances of The Civil Rights Era could not have been achieved.  In fact, the long, illustrious list of Black Civil Rights Leaders reads like a roll call from the seven primary Black male secret societies: Alpha Phi Alpha, Omega Psi Phi, Kappa Alpha Psi, Phi Beta Sigma, Iota Phi Theta, Groove Phi Groove and The Fraternal Order of Black Masons.  Black Fraternities have been the fountainhead of cultural evolution in America, allowing Black men to pass down traditions of manhood from father unto son and from our Elders to youth.  Fraternal Legacies are clear evidence of successful Black families, they are catalysts for the next generation of luminaries.  Every Black Fraternity should make a special, complementary gesture to reach out to the sons of its fraternity brothers when they enroll in any College or University in The United States to close the circle of family and community for each generation.  In homage to the beautiful and arduous task of fatherhood Black Fraternities should graciously entreat the sons of their brethren to continue the brilliant legacy of service and example, in fact it is a gentlemanly duty that should always be performed as a matter of utmost respect. 

Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity Inc. including it's founders circa 1911.

Whenever a black man fathers a son, guiding him to manhood, passing on to him instructions for manhood, teaching the hallowed traditions of his fraternity through example his efforts should be celebrated and acknowledged by his fraternity. The proper way for a fraternity to recognize the fruit of a brothers labor is with a gracious offering of brotherhood extended to his son.  There simply is no more gentlemanly way of showing appreciation to a father and fellow fraternity brother than to open the doors of his hallowed fraternity to his son.  Our Black Fraternities should be right on top of this practise.  Fraternity Chapters should always be aware of the progress of their brother’s sons so that they can immediately offer scholarships and other support when the time comes for them to send their boys off to college.  In many cases they will be able to offer valuable assistance to the sons that was not available to their fathers when they first stepped on campus years ago.

The Founders of Phi Beta Sigma circa 1913

Whether the son intends to actually pledge his father’s fraternity should be of no concern; as a matter of courtesy a neutral solicitation should be made.  This offering should be sent in the following manner. Two formal letters of invitation must be prepared and addressed separately; one for the father and one for the son and decidedly before the son begins his freshman year and prior to the beginning of his classes; also immediately after a transfer from one college or university to another.  This correspondence written on the formal chapter stationery bearing the official letterhead should contain: a simple greeting, an invitation to the next smoker or interest meeting and a contact list all of the undergraduate brothers including their proper names, phone numbers and email addresses. Within the body of this correspondence all of the officers and graduate assistants should be identified. This correspondence should not be considered complete unless it contains a brief biography of the father’s history of service in his respective undergraduate and graduate chapters even if they are not the same chapter as the host or if they are not local ones. This letter should be prepared by the chapter secretary in collaboration with the chapter historian.  Even if the father is no longer active this formality must be extended as a sign of gentlemanly courtesy and as a hallmark of the high standards of the Fraternity.  Please take note that it would be highly improper and discourteous for a fraternity to send this invitation via email.  If a formal response is not received within one week the chapter secretary should attempt to contact the father by phone as a courtesy.  Likewise, the father and son should send a prompt and courteous reply acknowledging the invitation within the first week of receipt and if they find they have not replied after one weeks’ time they should also follow-up with a phone call in addition to forwarding a written reply immediately. 

The Founders of Omega Psi Phi circa 19ll

Once the son is on campus and has established his place of residence a second formal letter of welcome should be sent to him at his new address at school or wherever his place of residence may be.  If the son is living away from home and on campus housing then one of the fraternity brothers should call on him at his dormitory to make a formal introduction.  This introduction should be brief as it is intended merely as a courtesy.  If the prospective pledge lives off-campus in a private residence or at home with his parents it would be inappropriate to call on him there unless invited by his father who is the master of the family house or by the son if he is living in private, off-campus accommodations.  Under no circumstances should any fraternal correspondence be administered to a woman with the possible exception that she is a widowed mother and only with the utmost discretion as all fraternal business should be kept within the fraternity. 

The Founders of Groove Phi Groove circa 1962.

Prior to the son’s induction into the fraternity interest group or pledge club regular correspondence should be sent to him apprising him of upcoming fraternity functions.  All private fraternity business and operations should be kept private.  If a prospective pledge is inducted into the interest group of another fraternity mail correspondence of general public activities should be forwarded to him but once he has been inducted formally into the pledge club of another fraternal organization all correspondence should cease unless it is of a nature relevant to or in honor of the sons father. 

It is with great sincerity that I apologize for every instance in which a Fraternal Legacy was not treated with the utmost courtesy and honor by the home chapter of his college or university.  Over the years much of the greatness and politeness that characterized the founders of these hallowed institutions has been lost.  Were it not for the fathers of our Fraternal Legacies we would have no Fraternity at all, we owe them this courtesy if for nothing else, to mark how the Grand Old Fraternity has succeeded in its mission to uplift the Black man by properly raising our boys and shaping them into great men!  To a great extent the return of Fraternal Legacies is a strong measure of the success of our Black families.  The great mission of our fraternal organization is the edification of Black men achieved by opening established traditions of manhood to new brothers and by deepening and enriching these traditions by passing them on from father unto son thereby revitalizing and solidifying the centuries old tradition of fathering and family values so essential to the development of civilized existence.

Written By. D. Vollin

www.forthebrothas.blogspot.com

IS THERE A PROTOCOL FOR ONLINE WRITING, STYLE AND GRAMMAR?

IS THERE A PROTOCOL FOR ONLINE WRITING, STYLE AND GRAMMAR?

The subject has been tossed around much over the years that we have experienced the internet boom. The internet is without doubt  the largest river of human communication.  Hipsters and Gamers, Textors and Emailers, Bloggers and Videographers will all have a different answer for the basic question, “What is the appropriate grammatical standard for internet communications”?

Whether communicating in person, writing a letter or over the internet you should always take time to execute properly composed correspondence.  A gentleman who expects to be respected no matter what context he is in and who enjoys expressing himself in a smart, eloquent and effective manner will easily equip himself with this advice.  An intelligent man understands how to manage colloquialisms, especially those which appear to be mainstreamed by popular culture but which nonetheless fall short of qualifying as “Standard English”.  Typos, misspelled words, and simple grammatical errors speak as much to the kind of care a man has put into ones message as it does the kind of response, if any, he may ultimately expect.  Remember that although you may feel that you and your audience is more relaxed, you cannot control who will ultimately view media authored by you once it has been published in cyberspace.  I have never promoted any form of paranoia or self-deprecation related to externally loaded opinions of self, I am concerned that a man’s opinion of himself will serve to motivate him to choose the path of excellence regardless of how others might opine. 

It is my opinion that there are two vastly different categories of internet communication, the first being Formal, business e-communications and the second being informal e-communications.  Obviously the rules will vary between them but they are both bound to the simple principles of standard, proper and effective communication. 

For formal communications, i.e. business related and even some personal contacts one should straightway equip themself with Standard English grammar and this always includes these simple guidelines:

·         Always compose your correspondence on word or some other word processing program.

·         Always utilise spell and grammar check prior to sending out any document.

·         Always proof read your document especially before posting online in a group or as a formal response to an ad or post.  Spell check is not always infallible. 

·         Never publish a rough-draft or technically troubled media unless it is for instructional purposes.  And if so always clearly identify the media as a “rough draft” or as an “example”; always be sure to clearly identify the instructional purpose it is intended to serve.

For informal communications proper spelling and grammar should not ever be abandoned!  If one is going to abbreviate a word the proper standard abbreviation should be used but it is always much better to clearly express ones intentions using the finest English style possible.  The worst kind of internet experience is one where the author has so abbreviated, his message with slang, and other colloquialisms that it is rendered virtually unintelligible to any who are not included in his exoteric group of friends.  Remember first and foremost the purpose of communication is to effectively communicate!  When readers cannot identify with an abbreviated or abstracted concept they cannot possible read your mind or consult a dictionary, so they will never have a chance to understand what you, in your infinite wisdom intended them to comprehend.  Informal guidelines are:

·         Always compose your correspondence on word or some other word processing program.

·         Always utilise spell and grammar check prior to sending out any document.

·         Always proof read your document especially before posting online in a group especially in response to an ad or post.  Spell check is not always infallible. 

·         Never publish a rough-draft or technically troubled media without clearly identifying it as such and explaining its intent.

·         Remember that even if the post or subject you are responding to is informal proper grammar and syntax is always important.

Many readers are ticked off when they are looking for detail but get assaulted with what appears to be obscure generalities.  Take your topic of discussion seriously and sell it eloquently!  Here is a bad example of Internet communication:

“K den u bes b get’n ova here bro one.”  Or “Naw pa Aaight dats whuzzup!”  

While both of these responses are give some basic comprehensible information they will be frustrating to someone who has taken time to compose a well written response, he will feel that you did not take him seriously and that you did not take time to address him appropriately.  Also a gentleman must be careful that his written communications are age-appropriate!  For example:

TEXT, POST OR EMAIL SENT BY OTHERS:  “Hello Bruce, it’s me, Maurice; the weather has been so wonderful today that I have decided to come into town and will most likely be in your area.  I will have a college buddy of mine with me, his name is Oscar and I do not believe you have met him before.  I certainly would not want to impose on you so please let me know if you would like to meet or receive us today.  We plan to be in your area around 12:30 P.M. and I will be driving”.

RESPONSE #1:  “K, cool man just let me know.”

PROPER RESPONSE #1:  “Hello Maurice, I am so pleased that you and Oscar will be visiting today and except for the fact that I do have an appointment with my automobile mechanic at 12:15 I would have lunch already grilling on the deck when you pulled up at 12:30.  If you can manage to wait for me to join you around 1:30 I’m sure you can just park at my house and we can all have a late lunch at Reajohn’s Barbecue Shack downtown.  If you can manage to arrive by 11:30 I will be glad to let you both relax at my place, you know my bar is always fully stocked and open or if you chose you can just hang out until we meet at my house.  By the way my address has not changed, it is 1527 North Suttler Place.  Please R.S.V.P.”

The first proper response was the more gentlemanly of the two and as such, the only proper one a gentleman would allow.  It acknowledges the receipt of his friends invitation to visit and also suggests a structured arrangement for coordinating the timing while the first response leaves these guests hanging in cyberspace.  Even though the best laid plans may go amiss the second set of plans has the best possibility of success.  Important also is the fact that the second response did not assume that the guests knew or remembered the correct address, an important factor in these days of personal navigation systems. 

The second message and response is for communication between two people who have just met online.  Tired, one word responses indicate a lack of interest or enthusiasm.  While one will not be expected to write a virtual novel it is nonetheless important to demonstrate some attempt to communicate facts and data that cannot otherwise be ascertained due to the displacement of the internet.

TEXT, POST OR EMAIL SENT BY OTHERS:  “Hello man, I just read your ad and checked-out your pictures; I was so impressed by them all.  I was pleased to find that we share many of the same hobbies and interests one of which is fine dining.  I am a “foodie” from way back and have always fancied I’d have a buddy to share my passion for food who would be company for me at the other side of the table.  By the way my real name is Butchie”.

RESPONSE #1:  “O.K. cool dude, so what’s good?”

PROPER RESPONSE #1:  “Pleased to meet you Butchie, my name is Bryant and I really appreciate your complements.  I am responding to you as much in awe of you as you are of me.  I think you are a handsome and intelligent brotha and I can see that we will have much in common not only with respect to food.  I was attracted to you and therefore your ad as soon I saw it.  I noticed that you are an avid baseball and football fan.  I have been collecting sports memorabilia since I was a kid and recently inherited my grandfather’s extensive sports memorabilia collection.  I look forward to discussing it over dinner sometime in the near future.  I am actually out of town until next Wednesday so I suggest that we chat while I am away to get a sense of each other and if all seems well by the weekend we should definitely make plans to meet face to face by Thursday or over the weekend. “

PROPER RESPONSE #2 “Please allow me to thank you for your complements Butchie, they are well received.  Let me also take this time to complement you as I see you are a very handsome and intelligent man.  I would like to politely decline your gracious invitation but again I thank you for what appears to be an honest complement.  Butchie let me conclude our correspondence by wising you the very best of luck in all endeavors as it appears you are a true gentleman and will make someone a very happy man”.   

If someone is gracious enough to give you a complement you as a gentleman must also take appropriate space to thank them.  If the complement is of a sexual nature then you must also thank them but if you are have not intention to take them up on their offer you must, as a gentleman, politely find some distinguishing quality of theirs to return the complement and then politely decline their invitation.  A gentleman is always transparent about his feelings, so if you are not interested find a polite way to communicate this.  Never send a rude or condescending response even if you are thoroughly disgusted by the person who complements and approaches you!  Even if you receive a rude or threatening response when the person discovers you are not interested find a polite word to discontinue the conversation and do not return any more correspondence to that person.  If the person persists then you might have to report them or block them but never stoop to base or ungentlemanly deportment even if you have clearly been disrespected. 

Whether communicating in person, writing a letter or over the internet you should always take time to execute properly composed correspondence.  Even when writing correspondence of admonishment one should always use proper grammatical form.  In life we will always use informal structure especially with close friends and family and this is both natural and acceptable.  Written correspondence should be fun and even when it is not it should be clear and well written.  History has preserved letters dating back many thousands of years.  Reading them today has allowed our generation a window into the past.  Think about this whenever you write.  Your writings may be preserved for posterity without you ever knowing it.  If they are to be read hundreds or even thousands of years from now I am sure you would want them to be clear and well composed.

So to answer the question posed by this article, “IS THERE A PROTOCOL FOR ONLINE WRITING STYLE AND GRAMMAR”?  the answer is unequivocally, Yes!  There has always been and will always be an overriding protocol and that is proper English!  Fads, Styles, Movements, all come and go with the wind.  A gentleman knows how to distinguish them and himself from them in the manner of his correspondence.  He understands that simply because something is currently in fashion does not make it credible…  A gentleman’s writing style takes years to develop, at some point he is confident with his command of the language or languages he knows and begins to take the skill of writing to a higher level of artistic expression.  That is the second nature that I am invoking in you…

FIN

Written by D. Vollin.

www.forthebrothas.blogspot.com  

WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF FIRE?

Breaking the chain of the transatlantic slave trade.

In just about every public building in these United States there is a common protocol for an emergency involving a fire.  When I was a kid in school there was always a notification posted in the hallways, stairways, in places of assembly and just outside of the elevators that read,

“What To Do In Case Of Fire?”

There was a list of instructions following this question all providing guidance for those who might be caught in what could be the most challenging moment of their lives…

Freedman and southerners argue over work contracts and wages during reconstruction.

For as long as I can remember the Black American Community has been in such a predicament! We have been under fire, we have been living in a burning house threatening our very existence but this fire has not been the textbook chemical combustion we studied in high school physics, it has been the continual threat of racism!  Racism is the fire that Black Americans must fight daily, we must wake up to it, we inhale its toxic smoke we feel the singe of its caustic heat, we experience the challenge it poses to our dignity and public image… we are a peoples who are constantly threatened with destruction by fire!  Growing up I remember my father’s famous saying he coined when I was a young boy.  I cannot count the times he has proclaimed this truth such that without any effort I can quote him here:

“WE BASK ON THE SEA OF APATHY AS WE SLOWLY DROWN IN THE FLOOD

OF INSTITUTIONALIZED RACISM!”

As a man of 50 years the prophetic words of my father stand out as undeniable truth!  I am awed by their clarity, their elegance of expression  so real evoking a balance of complexity and simplicity…

I find it most interesting that Black Americans can be so docile and naïve in the face of racism.  They expect it and understand it because they have gotten used to it.  Its effects outwardly appear to have been neutralized because they no longer fear it, they expect it and they know it. Black Americans simply find creative ways to transcend racism and move on. 

Black hotel workers were fired from this late 1880's hotel due to racial pressure.  Their jobs were then given to white workers.

But this is only a façade, it is no real solution at all because of the economic helplessness of the black community it does not matter if racism is feared or not it is a calculated inevitability.  Racism has been refined to a colorless, odorless poison that Black Americans consume at unawares through the consequence of poverty and ignorance and lack of empowerment; they don’t even recognize it when it comes fully robed to their door… 

For others who have had a better chance at beating the odds but find they have fallen victim to their own apathy and vanity blaming their woes on racism is a gross, ungentlemanly and cowardly claim.   For example, the saga encountered by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was a circus insulting to those whose lives were claimed by shameful sport of lynching.  In truth, the Black American community should have forced him to retract his spurious claim likening his media interrogation to a “Modern Day Lynching.”

We do not fear racism any longer the way we do not fear a cold or the loss of a loved one… we have become accustomed to racism… we accept it and accommodate it in our daily lives because we do not expect it to ever go away and because we do not know any other reality…  Because Black men are not stolen away in the night as they were before to be found in a riven, decapitated smoldering mass swinging from a tree in the morning we think that lynching has died.  But every time a black man is incarcerated, stripped of his citizenship, his right to vote and his right to freedom this episode plays itself out again and again and again.  We cannot leave a black man blameless if he falls into the traps of racism!  We must admit that it is a trap he should know well, he can see it and yet he walks directly into its jaws.  We have become blind and careless in the face of racism cursing the white man for setting traps we are foolish enough to walk inside of.  Clearly we have become numbed by racism.  Racism imbibed in gradual doses from adolescence to adulthood has built up our immune system to its threat, not to it its effects.  The result is that we have dropped our defenses, left the battlements unmanned.  In my father’s words again:

“WE BASKED ON THE SEA OF APATHY AS WE SLOWLY DROWNED IN THE FLOOD

OF INSTITUTIONALIZED RACISM!”

Unfortunately the same cannot be said for racists… they are empathically paralyzed against those they perceive as enemies and philosophically motivated to harm them through racism, they are interminably locked in a closed box of anger and hatred from which they will never mature except in the amplification of their hatred for those they deem inferior.   In them racism is creative and tireless… ignoring them is only a sweet invitation for them to impose even greater stresses upon us… They hate everyone who is not them, they do not respect Black Americans or anything that race has achieved!  They delight in the pain and suffering of those who cannot or will not defend themselves against their insane and unwarranted psychosis… they feel entitled to do so by reducing other races to the level of sub-human existence… racism is a sickness similar to that of a rapist, a child molester, a serial killer… The lust and hunger racists have for evil is nearly inexorable.  But because it it ultimately mortal we know it can be assuaged and even cured.

The League Of Revolutionary Black Workers fought for union rights of Black and White employees in  the  Detroit  automobile factories.

The only defense against racism is to be consistently strong and organized. Those who seek to fight racism must meet it peacefully with a clear show of strength at all fronts challenging it in ways that will not allow its cancer to bear fruit!  But to do this takes organization, solidarity, cohesiveness, cooperation, family, brotherhood, charity, sensibility, community, ethics, all of the characteristics that drugs, ignorance, incarceration and other factors have stolen from the black community since the late 1960’s to the present.    Many Black Americans gave up the sanctity of their hard-bought communities to drug dealers, thugs, criminals, prostitutes, hustlers, and murderers who turned them into cesspools of fear and despair.  Lacking any hope or direction of their own they forcefully denied everyone else the right to peaceful self-determination in effect carrying out the primary directive of the very racists who cursed their existence and doubted their ability escape the clutch of the racists noose.

These Black workers in a northern factory at the turn of the century were paid equal wages to the guild workers.

In the end the greatest challenge of the black community at large and Black Americans in specific is not to allow the depravity and hatred so typical of racism to pervert us.  We must not imitate racism by imposing the same bias against other human beings.  We must not begrudge other races from enjoying the fruits of America.  We of all should know better.  The weight falls upon us to set the example for decent folk to follow.  We must be the bigger man!   We must not serve back the same bitterness as we are served by racists.  Our legacy of struggle in America shows that we can achieve success through peaceful and intellectual solidarity.  The time to unite to effect positive change is not when our civil rights are being threatened because the vigil and battle for peace and freedom is a never ending battle.  We must stop blaming our fate on the white man an on racism because we have the power to overcome racism and live in harmony with all races.  All white men are not enemies! Together we both fought and died for racial equality in America.  Now it is time for the Black community to wake up and take full responsibility for itself!  Yes, racism exists but it is powerless in the face of determination and unity.  What the black community must do is to take a good hard honest look at itself and do the hard work of repair and rejuvenation. 

 The first step is taking responsibility for our own deeds!  The second step is identifying the obstacles to our social and economic progress.  The third step is identifying clear goals and objectives toward rebuilding our communities and families, our economic and social networks.  The fourth step is developing a plan to implement these goals and objectives.  The fifth step is galvanizing ourselves to implement the goals and objectives establishing stable and sustainable think-tanks to assist in the universal task of realizing these plans.  The sixth step is to establish a coherent system to monitor the development and growth of community, social and economic programming utilising our think-tanks to develop policy and strategy for the future.  The seventh step is to devise a way to ensure that the established network remains culturally relevant and responsive to social and economic trends and remains sufficiently decentralized that it cannot be overly institutionalized; that it does not become invested in its own preservation at the expense of natural, positive evolution. 

So if anyone ever asks what to do in case of fire you can tell them that the fire has already been burning and is now in danger of totally consuming the house, the yard, the neighborhood and the business district; all that is held dear.  Tell them that this fire is easy to put out, it requires that Black Americans wake up and blame no one but themselves for their current predicament!  Tell them that all we have to do is to stop:

BASKING ON THE SEA OF APATHY AS WE SLOWLY DROWN IN THE FLOOD

OF INSTITUTIONALIZED RACISM!”

FIN

Written by David Vollin (Son) and William Vollin (Father)