For many years now I have witnessed a trend in popular
culture regarding the way it deals with human sexuality. In my opinion modern culture has shifted from
one which celebrated and supported the elusive but unmistakably powerful
concept of love to a culture that downgrades romantic love in lieu of a baser
and meaner sensibility driven primarily by sex.
It has always been my belief that it is far more difficult
to manage the awesome responsibility that comes with sex once it has been
removed from a loving and romantic context.
That is why we find ourselves developing an interpersonal relationship
even with the most casual of sex partners, it is how we humans socialize and
sex, is a very keen dimension of human socialization. Sex taken straight with no chaser is after
all merely a verb; it lacks a subject, its raison d’etre…
When I hear someone brag about sleeping with someone else’s
partner it deeply disturbs me for two reasons, the first being that it lacks any semblance of classiness and
the second is that it is fundamentally immature. This of course is only my opinion…
I am far from Victorian in my understanding and expression
of sexuality but to me love is a very private affair unless you are being paid
to have sex in front of an audience... In
a desperate attempt to achieve some manner of uniqueness some twenty-first
century humans are willing to cast away their privacy, their individuality in order
to be a generic entry in the daily affairs of complete strangers. Yesterday
I overheard at least 3 explicit conversations in the mass transit system o’er blue
tooth. The first time someone publicized
a naughty affair it was novel… now it is just another generic and impotent
grasp for sexual bravado, at least in my opinion.
The dynamics of love and sex are always very complex so a
mature person would never jeopardize their sex or life partner’s stability by
putting their business out on the street; this is a matter of individual
choice. For instance, if I reference a
sexual experience I would never mention any names or offer any obvious hallmarks
by which my partner could be readily identified out of respect for their
privacy. Anyone can understand that it
is unwise to expose their partners personal business without their consent
knowing the possible ramifications and understanding the unspoken covenant of
honor and privacy that should be emblazoned upon any relationship if intimacy. There must be some respect should the data
ever reach their partner or spouse, children or other loved ones… To ignore these obvious and critical concerns is
not mature, again in my opinion. What mature person would be willing to score
sexual game points against the happiness of others?… Perhaps only someone who is profoundly insecure
and immature…
So where is the love?
Where is the politeness and maturity in our complex highly technologically
and socially evolved culture? Now that
the shock of scandal is long since over… a numb society appears to be lost in a
downward spiral of degrading reruns of history… If culture is like a pendulum swinging from
one extreme to the other, when will it begin to move back to a point of social
decency and humanity?
I am not saying that an affair and especially a brief,
perhaps one time sexual escapade is wrong by suggesting it be kept private nor
am I endorsing it. In my opinion, and to
borrow a decidedly over-used cliché, “It Is What It Is,”! I will not attach any moral or ethical judgments
on sexuality because I believe it should be free to explore… But because I am a humanitarian and a
gentleman I will add that because we know that humans are sensitive, emotional
beings sex and sexuality must be always handled with as much gracefulness and
tact as can be managed. To approach it
with no decorum at all is, in my opinion unworthy of the centuries long lessons
we have learned as human organisms on this planet, it is Barbaric!
I hearken back to the lyrical content of a song I cannot
wholly recall save that it said something like, “I slept with your man and when
we made love last night he was my man.” As
I pondered the utter ignorance of this lyric disclosure I wondered if the
writer or the singer even realized how it contradicted itself. All I heard was Your Man ”and“ Was my Man two
clues that in spite of the sexual charms of this media temptress she ultimately
did not wield enough erotic power to successfully and permanently pluck this fruit
from its nuptial vine! At the end of the
day she was just a quick fuck! Her
claims to this man relegated to the dubious lyrics of a song but devoid of the
tangible prize itself… the man! How
adults could ever become entangled in such sophomoric nonsense is hard for me
to understand now that I am a mature gentleman…
but even harder is when I see men emulating this same posture, the
posture and swagger, (if in fact women can have a swagger), of a female
bragging about the virtues of her, “Pussy Power”! Again, gentlemen, this is only my opinion and
it is not intended to offend anyone but I had to ask myself, as a man, if this
was a posture a proclamation worthy of and exemplary of a man and of a gentleman. My conclusion
was that it was not manly at all, not gentlemanly, not even womanly… it was Barbaric! 
I think old-timers continue to listen to doo-wop and mid 70’s
soul ballads, to go to hand-dancing cabarets and concerts rather than
participate in the patently unfriendly night life of this new era not merely because
they are caught in a time warp, which even were it so would be their prerogative,
rather they are intelligent and sensitive enough to recognize that something
has gone measurably wrong with music and culture in this early twenty-first
century. Used to love, they are
hearkening back to a place where love was and is figuratively, still…
The world is not devoid of love by any stretch of the
imagination, although society has moved to an antiseptic sexual reality there
are still people, artists and places that know what love is and celebrate it
every second of their lives as a shining example to us all, whether we are
paying attention or not! It is not
merely my intent to set up a scenario in which we are poised to somehow judge
how lovely the world is or is not…
though as citizens of the world we are duly so vested to freely express
our opinions. I want to inspire every one to express themselves because most of all those
places and people where love can be found are you and I. We
uphold the tenets of romantic love, we observe gentlemanly, civilized rules of
social engagement. We are where the love
is….
FIN
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